Oh GEEZ,
Where are my KEYS?!
I can't remember,
I'm down on my knees!
Not under there,
Nor under that either!
By the time I find them,
I'll be an old geezer!!
What time is it??
Oh god, I'm late!!
I won't have a job,
Or an after-work date!
I'll call and tell them,
Surely they'll understand.
I mean couldn't this happen,
To any normal man?
And I hope she'll see,
That I do want to go.
It's not an excuse,
No, I'm not that low.
If I could only remember,
Where I just sat them last.
Then maybe I'd find them,
Man, that'd be a blast!
I just need to put down,
These things in my hand.
So I can think better,
and the room I can pan.
I will set them here,
Wait what is this?
In my hand the whole time?
My keys weren't amiss?!
How did this happen?
I must be crazy...
The need to be driving me,
Not dear old Ms. Daisy!
On my way,
At last, it seems.
Everything settled,
My sanity redeemed!
Author notes
Just a happier, goofier poem. My others were a bit darker. Hope you enjoy! I was in a bit of a silly mood so it came out quite easily and it hits home completely with me, at least! I know the rhyme scheme is a bit cheesy but it seemed befitting of such a silly poem. :-P
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Got me smiling :)
I liked this. The rhyming fits the nature of it. My mom does this all the time and makes everyone help look, so I know what you mean.
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!!!
LOL!!! ha ha!! I am guilty of this too
Super cute poem, loved it
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This is a cute, little fun poem. I am fond of these kind of poems. I know what you mean about it just popped out of nowhere when you were in a silly mood. That has happened to me before. It was a fun read.
Birdie
language: 2, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 2, form: 3.
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haha i had this problem for awhile... then my car started fuckin up and now i jus leave em in the car with the hopes that someone steals it...great job man
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ah, this brings back frustrated memories.
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I always know Exactly where my keys are...
Now if I can just remember where I left my car. This a fun little poem. Contrary to what some poets think they don't all need to deep and meaningful award winners. I enjoy rhyming even when it's a little cheesy. You did a pretty good job of keeping the rhytm even throughout it. I (as usual) have a couple of suggestions. In your second stanza bring or back up to the first line that way you first and second line beats match. Third stanza, if you lose {Or} you can match line beats with the line above. Often times those little words can be implied. In the fourth stanza you rhythm is off a little. Consider changing {Surely} to just {Sure}. Then if you drop {I mean} and change {any} to {a} your line beats will match all through the stanza. In the fifth if you drop {That} from your second line all your line beats match. In the sixth stanza your beats are perfect. What do think of the last line of it as: I'd be off in a Blast. Because you're in a hurry. In the seventh stanza if you drop {and} you will match your rhythm -six beats, five beats, six beats, five beats. Make sense? In the eighth you have that same rhythm. I recommend a comma after the first what to give a slight pause. I "stumble" on the third line of the ninth stanza. Consider - They need to drive me - it's easier to say. That helps the rhythm of that stanza also. The last line of the last stanza is awkward but I don't have any suggestions and it's not that bad. On the advice of several other poets I've learned less puntuation is better. Less clutter, less confusion, more appealing to the eye. So I recommend you lose your commas (even when gramatically correct) except where they are really needed to cause a pause. Lose the exclamation marks (I heard this one) and use Capitols or more bold lettering to Emphasize what you need. Yes even in the middle of a sentence. Is there anything else? Think, think, think. Nothing comes to mind. You know I'm trying to help no attack your poem. If you want to delete this book after you read it let me know. I'll come back and give a shorter review. Good work. Keep it up. Just let it flow like a runny nose...Bad example?
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