Pale silky skin..
and strangely coloured eyes.
Born with a sin..
and mind-torturing lies.
One silver locket
with a sorrowful melody
in her little pocket,
and one haunting memory:
of past lives spent without blood
as an innocent, carefree human.
Yet now her sins cause a flood
for she's an irresistable woman.
Dark hair like that of a vulture.
Flesh so soft and curvy.
Her life a gothic culture -
'tis sums up a vampyr beauty.
So touchable...
So very kissable,
wearing a white Victorian dress.
Seducing, killing, gambling,
playing with ouija boards and chess.
Please, tell me what you think!
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Inspiration is everywhere...
you simply have to see it, feel it, grasp it. This poem describes the vampire many men would willingly give their souls to. As to the rhyme it's not a crime mine come out that way all the time. A poem is meant to be as it is in the end. I think rhyming can be forced and therefore overdone at times. This does not strike me as the case with this poem. In my opinion you could lose the And on the second to the last line. I think it would sound and look better. Then again I wear glasses so my vision is far from perfect.
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Edward Cullen!!!
Team Edward!!!
Ok sorry that was off the subject.
I really like your poem!! I love how you add in the last night, it really sticks out (in a good way!). And the begginning line is my another good line, it's a very descriptive line that makes the reader fully imagine it.
Good Job! -
Amazing ! The way you've described this Vampyr beauty is great,as if she was standing in front of me.i could imagine her face,her skin,her hunting ,everything.
"Her life is a Gothic culture " is my favorite line.I write Gothic/Dark romance short stories and poetry so i find this piece of work well written.Keep it up!
September 28, 2008
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