Today: I don’t have a metaphor
I don’t have anything worth rhyming;
It’s not pretty, it’s sad.
Last inning, last pitch,
It’s over;
Keep in touch.
Gone;
I can’t believe it but-
Gone;
-I’ve got pages in a book, pages in a book, nothing more.
* * *
-Is it death for life, or the other way around?
Graduation
Graduation
Move on now!
* * *
In reality, it will be just a few.
Realistically, I mean come on how many could it be,
I’m not being negative, it’s realistic, ask anyone.
Who makes the ‘move’…?
Will it be like that, cliché 20 years unmarried, lonely phone call-?
Will it be like that, cliché 10 years married then divorced, regretful phone call-?
Will it be like that, cliché 5 years in debt, desperate phone call-?
Will it be like that, “It has been a while, just wanted to see how you were,” phone call-?
Will it be like that cliché?
Does liability have to start with that act?
Why me,
Why me,
Why not you!
It won’t be you,
Because you think it’s me-
It is
Reviews
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Different
Strange in an enjoyable way, not sure about the uneven verses though, on the other hand it is unique.
. Rewarded 4
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Well...
You make some interesting points. Some of your meaning I'm not clear on but that could just be me. In reality it will be just a few. Are you talking about life in comparison to eternity? Who makes the move? That lost me. I like the cliche phone calls but I'm not crazy about it starting with Will it be like that every time. Does liability have to start with that act? Lost me again. Sorry. I don't know what to think about your format. Was there a specific reason for this arrrangment? Now don't think I'm putting down your poem. I'm not. For all I know someone else will read it and it will make perfect sense. These are just my opinions. -
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thanks for the comments i greatly appreciate it, before i clear up some ambiguity, just though i would say i did purposely write in this sort of frantic tone, sort of like a blur to emulate the feeling of graduating and everything happening so fast, back to the poem now, "In reality it will just be a few..." is a comment on the friends and relationships one makes in comparison to how many one keeps after high school long term, "does liability have to start with that act" this is a question asking in simpler terms, where does the responsibility of maintaining relationships after high school fall, does it have to be one of those cliche phone calls, why can't people just keep in touch the way they do during the time together
hope that cleared some things up, if you have any more questions or comments please feel free to ask, i would be more than happy to explain and discuss it furthur
-Sam
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hey samets
i think theres some good meat here, but covered up with too many spices so when you taste it, its ok but your not sure whats in it. i think if you took away certain things it would be addition by subraction.
dave. Rewarded 4
October 4, 2008
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