Fuck this life
and fuck these dreams.
I'm dying,
slowly dying.
My worthless mind
is wrecked with screams.
Horrid cries will silence.
I always knew
I'd die alone,
my presence never known.
And when my blood
sheds with my tears,
the world
will hear my name.
"A suicide,"
the news will say.
Another broken child.
And on they'll go,
with other things,
as if I were never here.
While Mom and Dad
cry and weep
for the rest of the year.
But soon, they too
will forget
and sickly nights will fade.
And there I'll lay
beneath the ground
in my sinful,
shallow grave.
Reviews
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think sunshine and smiley faces
cheer up!
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Oh Ski,
You would be missed more than you know. I don't even know you and I Would Miss you. I hate the thought of you being so tormented. It breaks my heart. I hate to read these types of poems. I'm not saying you shouldn't write them or that you shouldn't post them I'm just so sorry you feel this way. This is a very sad story but the poem itself is quite good. It has a good rhythm. You should capitolize Mom and Dad because the way you use them they are their names. Other than that I'm not sure I would change anything. I wish I could change the way you feel.
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Thanks for the comment and concern
Life just isn't good right now. Every day gets a little worse and though I have made promises, I'm not sure I will be able to keep them. Anywho, I'm better today. I took my SAT and did well, I hope. I have birthday cake for my friends, moms b-day. It was great. Well, thanks for the comment and Grammar check there.
Much appreciated,
Ash
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hey ski
you produce your best work when your depressesed and i loved the title. i'd love to see you at a poetry reading with a bunch of Sunday best dressed old people expecting you to read about flowers...when you announce my next poem will be, Fuck This Life.
dave -
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Haha and you always make me laugh. We both have our strengths. Teehee, that's for the comment and yes, it would be awesome to read this to a bunch of old people all dolled-up for a poem about summer or love. Lol, especially if I were flaming mad at the time too.
Thanks again,
Ash
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i like the last 2 lines:
in my sinful,
shallow grave"
that's NOT to say i didn't like the rest...i liked the whoel poem, those lines just struck me as...(i can never think of a good enough word)...they struck me as...simply amazing....
anyway, the poem is amazing, just thought you would like to know that
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All poetry should be written like this,i`m not talking about the subject matter or the words,i`m talking about the manner in which it is written..uncompromising,honest,brutal but not forced,direct and non pretentious,all poetry should be written like this,shame it nearly always isn`t.
well done.
Bye.
Papyrus
October 3, 2008
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