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He feels her emptiness he wants to fill it though he knows he never can he's just a man and as soon as it began he'd have to kill it for no man can serve two and do it well wishing the impossible possible is the road to Hell still he feels her itch and the gut-wrenching twitch of the scratching post what a wonderful kindness to them both what possible harm? his intentions are pure his thoughts are tender the serpent whispers kindly 'soothe her!' and that's all he wants to do |
Comments
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hey windover
my fathers favorite saying was the road to hell is paved with good intentions. good write thought the ending was a little ambiguous.
back in the day when i got that late night phone from a women in distress, i'd say i'll be over in fifteen minutes and bolt out the door.
dave -
Nice
I really like this, I like the straying from "form". I think it was wonderfully written and well thought out. I enjoyed it very much!
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i like the mood, a little dark but appropriate, i am a little confused though why some lines were separated to be short, try maybe putting some together to make longer lines, see how you like it
language: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 2.

