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Night

Night

As the sun finally drops its weary head
The moon awakens, relighting the sky
Animals that could be mistaken as dead
Fill the night with a bestial cry
As the rulers of the world began to sleep
The lesser animals come out to creep

A primal world has now awoken
To not heed this warning you would be a fool
For now the animals of the night have spoken
For the next ten hours WE SHALL RULE
Dancing, hunting, killing while the shadow still reigns
But soon gone for sadly night never remains

I know the puncuation sucks but what about the rest of the poem

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Reviews


  • shadow2050
    October 8, 2008
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    WOW!!!!

    I am glad i came to rad your poems this was really good, they are really good you should write some more i would love to read them. My poems aren't all that great, but we try at least to get better loved the piece. keeep writing.
    sincerely,
    Chandra .c.

  • Brian Balzer
    October 8, 2008
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    I think this is interesting.

    It has a smooth flow to it and I enjoy the rhyme. At first I wanted to suggest you change {The lesser} to {Nocturnal} but I think i see the importance of lesser in comparison to the rulers. I like the way you Emphasized we shall rule. I think you should capitalize Hunting and Killing. Since it looks like you removed the punctuation you could remove the note. Cool poem. Keep up the good work.


  • screamochic17
    October 9, 2008

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    absolutely amazing

    wow it was very discriptive a pleasure to read i enjoyed the darkness in it it captivated my attention