Roll down your window, child
It's just another one of those days
The weather's crispy and mild
And has a feeling of gypsy ways
Following where ever clouds blow
Inward towards the creepy hollow
Like a cat, the fog rolls in
So quiet you can hear the drop of a pin
Going around thirty up the hill
A mural of rusty foilage fall in the back
Catch a flint of eye of an heir of evil
Hear the sound of the mill FRACK!
An invitation to join the making
Of a brilliant evening of benign delight
Spot the couldron, the casket, the casting
Of spells. All at the stroke of midnight...
Author notes
Since it's October, I was feeling very Halloweenish.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Halloweenish indeed. =] It was dark, but not depressing. I reallly love this part:
Spot the couldron, the casket, the casting
Of spells. All at the stroke of midnight...
I'm not exactly sure why. It almost cast a spell on me... Ha ha. Great job!
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that's cool. i didn' mean to cast a spell on you.
glad u liked it.
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Halloweenish indeed!
The title was eye catching, for me at least. I can feel that October wheather. Cool but not quite cold. I can also picture this little drive in the country. The woods along the woods have turned color and begun to lose their leaves. The fog which always makes this setting that much more erie seems to roll in from nowhere. So quiet it seems that even the forest animals are afraid to stir. When you say the sound of the mill Frack! I imagine a loud crack that for some reason is followed by a low creaking noise. You sent me to my dictionary with the word benign. Nice usage! The last two lines bring the poem together. The only change I'd suggest is to spell out 30. Ofcourse that's just a personal preference. I saw somewhere that this wasn't finished? I disagree. I think it's there. Great work.
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So Mote It Be
=) A fun Halloween poem. If its not a Halloween poem then it is brilliant for another reason. I am not sure if anyone else feels this way but I think this poem is a beautiful ensemble of sounds. The way my inner voice reads this is exquisite. I may try reading it out loud to see if it has the same effect.
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 3.
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thanks, enoq. the sounds are an inner thing. you can't just glance over it and say, "there's sounds in this poem." it's an inward thing. you have to use your imagination.
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