Drive into the country
Flattened gravel sewn
With soft weeds
And splendid green
Windows flown down
Eyes at half-mast
Nothing to your name
But an acoustic guitar
Trees at both fists
Aged to genesis
Their arms swing to
The rhythm of your music
Nature adds percussion
Beat after beat, swish
After swish, An acoustic
Serenade into dark
Changes to night
Causes an audience
To concur, to join
Your Acoustic Lullaby
Author notes
I wrote this for a boy and his guitar, and the feeling the duo gave me.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Grace - This has a skilful transition from the road and nature's surround to the last stanza of the performance as if it's all one in feeling. The first two stanzas are exceptional,seamless, and set the tone beautifully for what follows. I couldn't help thinking of Lucinda Williams, She has a song called "Gravel Road" this is in the same kind of spirit. Cheers, MJ
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What a picture!
When I read this my mind floated nostalgically back to my home in Michigan where the autumns are so beautiful its almost magic. A very well done imagery capture! thank you for posting.
language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 3.
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Tambourine trees
This has led me in several directions,the most prominent of which is an image of a carefree drive in the countryside whilst listening to music...i liked it a lot.
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Thanks!
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I really like the image you are going for here, but perhaps you can edit your choice of words. Example: windows don't really 'fly down'.
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that's just a figure of speach. of course windows don't really fly down. it's supposed to set the mood to a sort of laid-back, care free one. that was done on purpose. i'm glad it stuck out to you, though. it means it did what i wanted it to do. thanks for the comment!
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Interesting.
This paints a relaxing picture of a lovely country view. I like the way you describe the trees swaying to the music he plays. I also like the way you having nature joining in his song. Well done.
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