I sit beside this shore of awakening
gazing in wonder at the Lake I see before me
So tranquil to the eye on the surface
easily ravaged to the depths by storms
Appearing to be so young in existence
having a soul which has existed for ages
Contained within is boundless knowledge
waiting to rise to the surface to be perceived
This Lake which astonishes me is brimming
with more than an abundance of life to give
Able to bring forth overpowering emotions
from the depths of the very essence of my soul
I thank the Creator in the Heavans above
for creating this gift for the world
This magnificant gift of joy
a wonderful young girl
called Lake
Author notes
To clear up confusion I have decided to add notes. I wrote this to give recognition to Lake Absence for being able to stir my emotions with her poetry, to let her know her poetry is much better than she thinks and to thank her for writing a poem for me. I hope this helps people to understand the poem in general and why I feel she is a gift to the world.
Comments
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Beautifully written. Lake must be a very special person and I'm sure she is thrilled to have such a lovely poem written about her. Who wouldn't be? And to come from you? That in itself is a great compliment. Well done, my friend.
Birdie
P.S. I love the way you centered it. Gives it great appeal.
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 3, tone: 4, form: 5.
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Thank you,
once again for taking the time to let me know what you thought of my poetry. I believe Lake is a truly talented poet who writes with an ability beyond her years. I was indeed thrilled to have had her write a poem for me in the first place. Thank you again.
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First of all, thanks for the author notes, otherwise I would have understood this poem differently... Until I read your notes, I was having some different imagination.
I thought this was a poem about Nature with which you were talking about Lake in general... Description match also. I was over-reading those lines from behind and what I got in the beginning was really different... After reading your notes I was laughing my heart out and was like 'Why such over-doing in me
'...
by the way, this is such a nice tribute to someone close to you and you like...
Thanks for sharing
Love
Kiddy -
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Thank you, your welcome and thank you again.
Your miss conception is a compliment in itself. It was an intentional misdirection or play on words. I was striving to give descriptions which could be used for both. The notes were actually to clarify the intent and meaning of the poem because someone was reading more into it than what there was. I did want to pay tribute to someone I consider to be a wonderful person and a talented poet. Thank you for not only reading but also taking the time to comment on my poetry.
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I loved it
I think you did a wonderful job here Brian(REALLY), especially being that this is not your normal style. I think that it can hold it's own with all of the others of its likeness. It was beautifully written and the sentiment is genuine (as usual). I think you said everything you wanted to say clearly, for those of us who know you and know what you were trying to say and not to say you did it perfectly!!! I too think that it can also relate to others in different ways which is also a mark of a good poem, that it is not restricted to meaning one thing to all, but it can be absorbed by the mind of others to play with it and make it their own(I hope that made sense out loud). Just a wonderful poem by a wonderful guy, with the best intentions, and ultimate kindness in his heart. Great Read!
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Thank you so much...
for your wonderful compliments, and your reasurrance. It is so nice to hear that my endeavors to grow as poet are not lost in the transition. Yes you made perfect sense. I agree that it is wonderful when a poem can be interpreted by the reader to fit their own personal thoughts. Of course you made me blush, thanks again.
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Simple, but sweet. You're gifted with the ability to throw people off. I admire that. I'm sure Lake loved it. It's definetely not an undersatement.
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Thank you,
I'm glad you can appreciate the misdirection. Yeah, she probably thought it was at least OK. -
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At least OKAY?? Brian, you astound me. How could you be so dense sometimes? I LOVE it!
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Gee...Umm...Hmm...
So that means it at least OK right? I'm kind of slow. You know old age affects the brain and all. Teasing sweetheart. I'm very glad you love it. You deserved it. You gave me such a wonderful gift with the one you wrote for me. I wanted to give you something just as meaningful.
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This is SUCH a BEAUTIFUL piece. Your explanation of the poem offers your inspiration, but even with out that, it can easily be interpreted to mean many things to many people. Relating to people, stirring up another's own story with your poems is a gift. I love this
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Thank you very much.
I'm glad you appreciated the meaning of this poem. I added the notes because it was apparent that some were reading much more into this than was intended. I'm so glad you loved it. Thanks again.
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Lovely
I really love "This lake I see" It is very beautiful, I can imagine it all.language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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Thank you,
for not only the compliment but also for reading my poetry in the first place but also for taking the time to leave a comment. Even simple comments are appreciated by most.
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Hey Brian,
Deep thoughtful lines like the Lake yet you got me confused here in the begining if you were comparing the girl to the lake or lake to the girl..whatsoever you have made your point of description quite evident towards the end..cheers to you on this beautiful thought..Its a great feeling indeed to thank and be thankful for what/whosoever..I am sure you have made both the creator and his creation proud of them and you..Nice job.
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Sorry about the confusion.
It was meant as a misleading play on words. Her name is Lake Absence and she goes by Lake. I guess I need to add authors notes. I wrote this to give her recognition for being able to stir my emotions with her poetry, to tell her her poetry is much better than she thinks and to say thanks for writing a poem for me. Thanks for the compliment.
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I really like it pie
It looks great! -
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Thanks Readin'
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I like this poem(not really). I can't quite understand your description, because it's hard for me, a 12 year old girl, to understand.
It's confusing me.
But some older people might understand it.
Anyways i'll give you a B+ or a B- or a C+
Good Job though
language: 1, rhythm: 2, subject: 4, tone: 3, form: 3.
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I'm glad you said (not really)
It's important to be honest. I was being philisophical. I was trying to compliment her as highly as she did me when she wrote a poem for me. I'll send you a message to try to explain this a little better for you.
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WOW!!!!!!!
good job eh -
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Thanks.
I guess that means you liked it?
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Awww, thats so so sweet of ya to do that to lake pie!!!
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Well, she deserves it.
After all she is the first and only person to write a poem for me, let alone about me. I was mistaken. She is the second person to write me a poem. I'm a heal.
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Brian!
This is a pleasant surprise from you! I like that you're exploring poetry without rhyme..I think you'll find that it's a bit less restrictive in form and more supportive of whatever words come to mind.
..And the words you've chosen work together nicely..you can tell this person has made an impression on you and really, it seems, that's what the poem is after - recognition for the "wonderful young girl / called Lake"
Well done and keep it up,
annac -
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Thank you,
I'm glad you liked it. In all truth not rhyming is much more restrictive for me. I have to work not to rhyme. The words that form in my mind automatically rhyme with out intention. I'm glad that you like the word choices. This was one of the few poems I've "worked" at. I have done about half a dozen others that I intentionally did not rhyme. Solitude, Emptiness and G' Morn'n' Glory were a few of my favorites. If you would like the names of the others I'd be happy to share them with you. This young lady not only made an impression on me she touched my heart. She is a kind, considerate and talented young poet. She is the second person who has written a poem for me. You being the first. I believe she did so to thank me for putting myself out by helping several poets in a row with their poetry instead of persuing my own selfish interest and I was deeply grateful. I believe she gives me too much credit, however, I am not only pleased I am honored. As usual your perceptions are correct. This poem is all about giving her the recognition she deserves for all her wonderful work and my poem as well. Thank you.
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Aww, Brian
Lake loves it!! It has beautiful word choice! I love it too!
Hope.
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Thank you,
I'm glad she does. It was the least I could do for the second person who has ever written me a poem. It was so kind at that. I'm glad you like it too. Thanks again.
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Awwww :D
Brian, you're too sweet.
A little overpowering, but I love it. 
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You deserve it.
I'm sure this didn't overpower you anymore than yours overpowered me.
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