First a beat to start the tick,
Then add the strum but not too thick,
Now increase tempo, thats the trick.
And with this begins the show.
Once the sounds do come together.
People gather in all weather.
Dressed in chains and twisted leather.
While the speakers thump and blow.
Booms and thuds come from the bass.
Taunting with melodic trace.
And when each note is in its place.
The crowd will surely start to grow.
People gather shoulder tight,
giving up grind, for just one night.
It truly is an awe filled sight,
When the stage begins to glow.
They dance and jump in silly ways,
Thriving, seething, all in praise,
The crowd becomes a blurry haze.
As music now begins to flow.
Separately these sounds mean little.
Solemnly they sound so brittle.
It surely is a timeless riddle,
how from nothing, songs; we sew.
Every culture on this sphere.
Has tried to change sounds they hear.
creating songs that bring us tears.
A golden rule that we all know.
Just like the beat of a good song-
When at the end, the start, we long.
On a good note we must end strong.
And now our beat draws very low.
The silence leaves a hole.
Author notes
PLEASE comment. I would love to know what YOU think!!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I really liked it! That format and ryhming were great! I honestly don't know what to say it was just so great!
Though for this one line:
"A golden rule that we all know."
^ To me, it seems to not really fit the stanza, I don't know.
But overall, it was great!! I enjoyed reading this poem!
Hope.
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Enoq,
Technically speaking, the format is brilliant. You have spun the central idea with wise choice of words... it's clear that you have put in extra ounce of effort to bring the rhyming throughout.
Rhyming sounds natural, a very few are weaker though... overall I had a good read.
Thanks for sharing
Love
-Kiddy -
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thank you
I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the info I will try to work some of those last stanzas a bit.
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I love it!
I can feel the vibrations of the booming speakers. It's that good.
And you are also very good at rhyming. When I rhyme, I always run out of words and then I start to add fillers, but every line in your poem is meaningful.
And especially the hole that the silence leaves at the end. I know what you are talking about.
Great job!!
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Thank you!
I am so glad you could connect with this poem. That last line just seemed perfect for me because when I was visualising this massively celebrated song it became overwhelming when writing it and when I was done at the end I felt cold and silent as if in a dark hole. I thought it would be a good end and I am very glad you liked it. Thank you so much for your kind words.
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Enoq...
You truly underestimate your literary ability. I don't know how you do it, but with one sentence - you move people, you know? You have a gift. I must say, this poem really shows what you can do with it.
Again, you exceed my expectations by a landslide. I seriously go with Carly, you should make a collection of your poetry. Your publisher will be crying with the amount of money they could make off you.
Just kidding.
Keep on writing,
- A.C.
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You are way too kind
This one was a lot of fun to write. I am so pleased that you can connect with it. I love hearing your feedback especially when you love it lol. Perhaps I will collect them all one day and your encouragement will definitely have aided in that. Thank you so much.
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pleading
Please don't spare the rest of humanity the marvel of your literary gift. please, write a book, compile the poems, find a publisher, something!
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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wow
I keep running across your comments and blushing like crazy. Thank you. I actually have a book that is currently in the editing process but it is not of poetry. I am again honored by your praise but I am not sure that I am worthy of poetic publishing just yet. I know for sure that encouragement like yours wont hurt my getting there though. Thank you again.
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Loved it!
I really don't have much to say other than I am extremely jealous... I love the format, I your word choice, I love everything... Great job! -
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YAY
First comment was a good one! hopefully others will like it! Don't be jealous you are amazing as you will see from my comments to you =D
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