I Want To Say "I Love You"

I
love
you
or i did
As in-
i USED TO
but don't know
if i do
anymore
it's too complex a situation
for my heart to understand
it's too complex even
for my BRAIN to understand
how i can be hurting
because of the same person
i love
who claimed to love me
it's too confusing
it's too complex
it's too damn much
!i don't understand!
help me, alex
help me understand
because i don't think i can get this on my own
help me
because i can't do this anymore
i'm helpless
and hopeless
lost and confused
lying on the ground
i don't know what to do
i thought you were my everything
but it turns out you ain't
thought you could be my everything
if it wasn't for the hate

"do you believe
in the day that you were born?>
tell me,
do you believe?
...
don't tell me if i'm dying
'cause i dont' want to know
if i can't see the sun
maybe i should go
don't wake me 'cause i'm dreaming
of angels on the moon
where everyone you know
never leaves too soon"

i'm dreaming of you Alex
but i dreamt of Chelsea last night
(maybe the other night
but i lose trace of time
so easily)
and i wanted to be with her
but i don't know alex
anymore
who i want to be with
You know
i kept wishing
every day you were gone
for you to come back
and now that you're back
i don't know what to do
i guess i should learn
to be careful what i wish for
'cause it seems to keep biting me in the ass
Alex, i love you
(and here
i wanted to say
'please just love me back')
but i can't, alex
don't you see?
i won't
i won't beg anymore
i won't even ask
You don't love me?
fine, you know?
i GET that
but my heart doesn't
it doesn't get how you can love someone
and then not anymore
i guess i scared you away
or something
i don't know
i don't know anymore, alex
see?
i'm just plain confused
(love me alex)
that's what i want to say
but i won't
anymore