When I sit upon the toilet,
and try to take a crap,
I strain so stinking hard,
I might have a heart attack.
When I sit upon the toilet,
it fills me up with grief.
I strain for all I’m worth,
and still get no relief.
When I sit upon the toilet,
it drives me quite insane.
I strain so hard it hurts my head,
and gives me another migraine.
When I sit upon the toilet,
I get quite annoyed,
I just can’t do much at all,
except pop another hemorrhoid.
I think I’ll try a laxative,
it might be a good idea.
Oh great, now that just figures...
it gave me diarrhea!
Author notes
I wrote this little gem for someone who was always telling me how constipated they were. Like I needed to hear all about it... every time we talked. They don't do that anymore.
Don't you just hate that?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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What a stinking smelly putrid portrayal of poo in poem!!!
I could almost smell the words,delicious and smellylicious,this poem should be hanging up in every household lucky enough to have a bathroom,its absolutely brilliant.
Well dunny!!!
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Thank you very much!
I'm so glad you found it to worth the compliment of Well dunny! That's a pretty good compliment for a poem that smells to high Heavan.
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Ur just sick brian! just kidding! pure gold (no pun intended) haha
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Well...
I guess being in that condition for too long would make any one a little sick. However this wasn't a personal experience. What can I say some of my poems just squirt right out, er, uh, I mean write themselves.
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lol...
You never cease to amaze me with your wide poetic range...lol. I, of course loved it...I think that your sense of humor is one to be reckoned with. Who'd a thunk it, a poem about
lol!
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Variety is the spice of life...
now speaking of spice someone splash some Old Spice around in here it smells like in here. Maybe it's that stinky poem. By the way it's not the only one...I wrote one called: Potty Traning also.
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Brian.... *sigh* Too, too gross. Why did you have to write this? I hardly needed that "lovely" imagery. But hey, if the person stopped telling you, great.
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Sorry?
I found it funny in my infinite immaturity. It did serve the purpose of it's intention. Beside if this poem stunk too bad you could have just quite reading. Sorry again.
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Brian, seriously
This is the funniest and grossest poem I've read in a long time
Goodness
I can't imagine.
But I guess that's a good thing
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Thank you
The best part is they don't tell me all about it anymore.
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