Quivering lips tentatively seek
their mirror twin
A gentle meeting
lightly touching
Breath suspended in space and time
Mind, heart, body and soul
proffered freely
Shrouded
in a lacy veil
Of hope, love, desire and dreams
Senses sharply focus as the backdrop fades
All is still
as two become one
One, thought,
one heartbeat,
one anatomy,
one essence
Twin-flames unite in a burning blaze
As love is birthed
then nourished
Hand in hand,
heart in heart,
soul in soul
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a beautiful poem. Puts everything into slow motion for you to get the real feel of it.
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Soul's Snapshot
I love it when artists have this ability. To capture a moment so perfectly that one can project themselves into the poem. Very nice!
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 3.
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One of the truly beautiful moments in life when hope knows no boundaries and our souls overflow with dreams
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Wow, I love it!
It's like everything is happening in slow motion.
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Time slows to a stands still Cee when first we touch lips, hearts and souls with a new love
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How Romantic
I love the choice of the descriptive word tentatively. This is the very definition of almost all of love's first kisses. Sometimes it's easy for me to pick certain lines or stanzas to offer as my favorites. Other times like this it's not so easy. Let's see...Lines 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, and 12. Yep, covers it, other than that I didn't really care for the rest. I'm not saying they need to be but at least some of these lines could be broken down farther to give them more impact on the reader. Shorter lines sink in faster. What do you think of the look of this:
Quivering lips tentatively
seek their mirror twin
A gentle meeting
lightly touching
Breath suspended
in space and time
Mind, heart, body
soul, proffered freely
Shrouded in a lacy veil
Of hope, love, desire, dreams
Senses sharply focus
as the backdrop fades
All is still as
two become one
One, thought
One heartbeat
One anatomy
One essence
Twin-flames unite in
a burning blaze
As love is birthed
and nourished
Hand in hand
Heart in heart
Soul in soul
Just thought I'd offer you another point of view. Ethier way you have a sweet and tender poem describing one of the precious moments in life. Great work.
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