You Are
A Wonderful light
A secret Treasure
beautiful broken Artwork
struggling to be whole
You must fight to win
also to live
You have no choice
but breathe the air
that surrounds you
Face your fears
running is Pointless
Our dreams are too often
Haunted by demons
We are often suspects
of our own demise
of Punishing ourselves
We often flee
without Escaping
our plane of
Existence
Author notes
This poem was inspired and written as a comment on a poem by Lake Absence called: I Am . If you like this poem I suggest reading: I Am Click this link: http://sharepoetry.com/poem/29412 in order to see my inspiration.
Thanks Lake.
Comments
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this is good
lol yeah that says A LOT doesn't it? Okay...
It flows well... it sends an amazing message.
W o n d e r f u l
-Krista
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Thank you
That was two in a row that you read which were inspired by other poems. What a coincidence. I think there is a lot of meaning in these words. I hope it did and does send an amazing message. Thanks again.
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Applaud
For an ugly old man, you write a very meaningful poem. Seriously, this is very good. I will have to read the inspiration for it. Nicely done.
Birdie
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 5.
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Thank you
I'm glad you could appreciate the meaning in this one. Of course I owe her the credit. All I did was responde to her poem. Thanks again.
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GREAT POEM
You offer a great deal of hope and understanding in this poem.
AGAPE!
C -
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Thank you
Sometimes poems like this just erupt when I read the work of others. Lake has inspired me more than once.
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Great job Brian! I think I read that poem by Lake. Not sure though... *thinks hard*
I do have a suggestion though, I would lowercase the words in the lines, they're capitalized randomly.....lol
Anyways, I love it!!!
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Thank you
I appreciate the compliment. If you're not sure whether or not you read I Am I suggest stopping in for another read just in case. It is a great poem and provided everything I needed for this poem. The Capitalization in the middle of the lines is on purpose. It is a way to give emphasis to certain words and make them stand out or sound stronger. As Lake pointed out though (and I told myself but didn't listen) I used it a little too much. I think you might try it in some of your poetry some time. Thanks again.
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I think you did a fine job on this poem Brian, I was captured by the imagery and sucked in. I related to this poem and i think that many will. You are doing fantastically, venturing into new realms of poetry!
"beautiful broken Artwork
struggling to be whole"
I absolutely loved this line, it couldn't have been worded any better to me.
"We often flee
without Escaping
our plane of
Existence "
Another favorite of mine, this rings so true to so many. I think that this poem will touch many! Well done.
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Thank you
I understand being able to relate to it. I really think you could apprecitate: I Am by Lake Absence. It feed me every bit of this poem. I intend to do my best to delve into as many styles as possible. Not only just to have as many different types of poems growing in my Poetry Garden but also to become a stronger poet. Thank you for all your encouragement, advice and support in general.
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Great job Brian! It's great to see that my lowly poetry can inspire a great poet like you. I love it. One suggestion I have is to lowercase some words. I see what your doing (since you're the one who told me about it xD) but it's frequency in the poem lessens the impact on words that could extremely benefit with some emphasis.
Lake. -
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Thank you,
In no way is your poetry lowly and I don't think I'm as great as you make me out to be...but I love hearing you say it. You have told me something that I was telling myself as I was doing it. I overdid the Caps. You should have suggested which to uncap. Thanks again for your valued opinion.
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