There’s no greater journey than the one within
To search for your soul and face your sins
To find ‘who you are’ under all the rubble
That accrued from your life and all your troubles
The journey is tough with little respite
But take the first step towards the light
Then out of the shadows of night and day
Come angels to guide each step of the way
They’ll clear your path of unneeded foes
And create the space to deal with your woes
They’ll open your heart and soul, you’ll see
And give you the courage to search for ‘me’
When you find your soul and feel complete
There’s no need to hide in your comfort retreat
So grab your life by the scruff of the neck
Don’t sit and moan and go ‘what the feck’
Go out in the world, live each day, take a chance
Then you’ll feel you deserve the love and romance
That your heart desires and wants and needs
‘Cause lovers dance when you take the lead
Author notes
This poem describes a difficult but extremely rewarding journey that I made - when I found 'me' I also rediscovered the poet within - my journey as a poet was a lonely one until someone shared this site with me - I'm really glad they did
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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brill
thought this was really good, and spiritual which im into, the rhythm was great, one of the best poems i've read, i like it when everything rhymes. the only thing i would say would be maybe say 'what the heck' rather than 'what the feck' it just popped into my head as i was reading it, but i understand why you have written what you have. or maybe, 'dont sit and moan, get up, what the heck' just an idea. cyarr
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Delightful!
A great read and very well formatted. I very much enjoyed the theme message and rhyme scheme. Great post!
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 4.
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Aww :D
thank you Enoq - this poem is very important to me as was the journey within
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Wonderful
This poem has such a wonderful message. There is so much truth in your words. The journey to find ones self can be very difficult at times. It is impossible to truly do so without a light to guide you, at least in my opinion. The rhyme and rhythm of this poem is great. The first line of the last stanza could use more beats though. What do you think of this:
Go out in the world, live each day and take a chance
That would give it one more than the next line
Being a rhyme and rhythm poet my favorite two lines are:
So grab your life by the scruff of the neck
Don't sit and moan and go 'oh feck'
To be honest, rhythm wise you could make it 'oh what the feck' and it would flow better. Either way I love the way you used it. Great job.
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Thank you :)
Brian thank you for your suggestions which I have used to revise this poem - I've also added an author's note to explain why this poem means so much to me - thank you for understanding and appreciating that.
Monica
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