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Haiku Season Collection

Spring raindrops pound dust
cleansing the air with dirt smell
swaddled by white noise

Heat waves warp my view
the sun taunts with a puddle
always out of reach

Sweet cool Texas wind
changes direction so fast
with no where to go

White treetops look warm
for something so well covered
looks are deceiving




Author notes

These are my first Haiku.

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • redbarchettadrive
    December 17, 2008

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    Great!

    What a fine collection of haiku Ben!
    All four are very good, although I have chosen a favorite as well.
    The winner is...(drum roll)
    #4

    Second place will go to the third haiku.

    I was at a different poetry board a few years back and created a thread called 2-5-5 Haiku and this was one of my faves that had come from that.

    friendship
    no water required
    it sails on pure trust

    Any way...
    great job!


    • Enoq
      December 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers!

      Thank You
      I enjoyed this write
      Almost wrote itself

      Good Day
      Am looking forward
      To reading your work


      Enoq

  • redbarchettadrive
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Great!


  • CarlySeye
    November 7, 2008

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    Excellent

    My two favorite lines (cause I am such a visual gal)

    "Spring raindrops pound dust" I can just see the way raindrops create a little dust cloud when the hit dry dirt

    "the sun taunts with a puddle always out of reach" yes, that mirage of water on the horizon that appears during a hot day.

    Genius


    • Enoq
      November 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Zen in Simplicity

      It was really fun to write these even though I just whipped them out I wanted to capture a microcosm with each one describing a different aspect of a season.


  • gingerhall1976 silver member
    November 3, 2008

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    these are great

    I really liked this a lot, and if you hadn't put haiku in the title and in the notes, I would have thought they were meant to be together as stanza's.

    I loved the second one, that mirage fascinated me when I was a child, and I have to say..to this day it still does,it amazing how the weather can play tricks on your senses, and all of these describe that well. They all in their own right, tingle the senses. Well done


    • Enoq
      November 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Traditional Haiku is always written about weather variables used as metaphors for emotions. I was trying to do that here with the seasons in the classic 5-7-5 count.


  • rhetorica gold member
    November 3, 2008

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    Hey Enoq,i`m listening to Bee`s Moonlight Sonata as i write and it makes these words ache with beauty,nice work.
    Bye.

1 - 10 of 10