A fight between a goose and duck
to see who'd have the better luck
Took place beneath
a pickup truck
A loud slam echoed through the woods
But neither bird was hurt;
Instead the truck drove off the road
and left the duck in dirt
"No need to sink to such a state.
If you are scared, we'll fight again
in a different place or date."
With this the goose had quickly fled
back to his rundown beat-up shed
as fast as he could fly;
For if he lingered a little bit
he knew that he would die
Months went by as this duck grew;
Eating more than he could chew
Fattened now he felt assured
that rematch time was way past due
Arriving there he looked for Goose
But Goose was gone, a bullet struck
his little heart meant for a buck!
So duck went mad:
It couldn't think
If you saw him,
He'd need a shrink
Its screws came loose
It slayed a moose
It wants that goose
It wants that goose...
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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HAHA!
Funny poem! I wonder how you came up with this idea. Very original.
But HAHA I was practically laughing the whole time!
Thumbs up,
-A.C.
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Smallville inspired me
The truck featured in this poem is actually Johnathan Kent's (Clark Kent's father from Smallville) pickup truck. I've been watching this show lately and their family operates a farm, so I combined the two with my wacky imagination.
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OMG
Finish this! or I will have to... write a comment asking you to finish this! Yes it is fantastic, yes you could stop here. But don't! The only thing separating this from being perfect is an end confrontation between them.
Unless of course this is some observational piece on a real life event in which great job keeping the rhyme scheme and story structure through out. (and you call me a bard) Takes one to know one!
language: 4, rhythm: 2, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 4.
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I am humbled by your sincere words
Thank you, Enoq. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I was drifting off to sleep last night and this was all I could muster at the moment, lol. There may be a Goose sequel, so stay tuned. Also, I'm not the bard, you are. Your poems are ethereal. Thank you for checking this out!
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Too Funny.
I like the humorous poems that can make people laugh or grin despite themsselves at the very least. Being a natural rhyme and rhythm poet I like the style of this also. There are a few spots that are off a little and could use "tweeking". The third line of the second stanza doesn't fit very well. You might consider revising it and the fourth line. Maybe something like:
The truck drove off which was good
it left the duck in the dirt
The third line of the third stanza seems odd to me. I think it's the {in} which wouldn't make sense for {in a different date} What do you think of this:
on different grounds; another date
In the seventh stanza the third line doesn't seem to fit either. How do you feel about this: It was plain to all
Of course you know these are just suggestions. If you like them use them if not then don't. I enjoyed this one.
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Thank you!
You guys are far too kind. I'm very glad you guys have enjoyed reading this poem. Good suggestions also, I will consider them for a future revision. Thank you again!
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Original and funny poem,the duck recovered and trained like she was Rocky only to find her opponent the goose was dead,then she is so mad she kills a moose,nice poem,really liked it.
Bye
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