Why do you
Do what you do?
Why do you
Not care who
You hurt?
You buy
You spend
But in the
Very end
You never really worry
Who you break or
Who you snare.
In your
Trap
It's all about you
It's all about who
You can
Woo in
To Die
On
The inside
Once they die
Inside
You fry
Their life
Take all you can
Because soon
There aint gonna
Be a big man
The people will speak
The will rise
The will peak
The people will
Take too the
Street
When the day comes
When the mass runs
They will find you
You can't hide
They will find you
Comments
-
Tulie
I really liked that
Mainly the start ...I think its a really good poem..i mean its diffrent.
Thanks For the Post !language: 2, rhythm: 4, subject: 2, tone: 4, form: 3.
-
Well done
This reminds me of a Japanese poetry style I cant remember the name. Where there is a progressive ascending rhyme scheme. Either you did it intentionally or you did it without knowing either way you have some nice talent for it. I love succinct pieces I wish I could write them. Keep up the great work.
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 5.
-
it's the government, isn't it??
stupid goverment, screwing everyone over...O.o
anyways.... -
hey Tirwander,this reads like it could be the lyrics of a song,not entirely sure of its meaning,whether you are enraged by a person or by an organization...who or what is the "YOU"?,...it delivers a strong message using the simplest of words which,in itself,is a very difficult thing to do,but its meaning, for me ,is a little vague.
thanks.
bye.
Adding your comment:
