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Aidan Carr

These eyes...
have seen much
before their time.
Have seen war
without living it
agony without feeling it...
Burning deep
into the souls of others.

These hands...
have pressed among the keys
flooding a page with emotion
telling a story of one
never known
or never met otherwise.

This mind...
drifts away into an endless sea
of thoughts
a tree or a flower
may stand in their view
but travels back in time
back...
or journeys far away...
into the jungles
of the unexplored
yearning for more
to set their sights on.

My name...
Is Aidan.
Aidan Carr -
and will forever remain
your humble servant.
Pleased to meet you.

Author notes

It spilled out.

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Atsirk
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    danggg!!

    That was awesome! The form is incredible! I love everything about it! Wouldn't change a thing!

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.


    • ACpoetry
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      :D

      Thanks! I really appreciate it. Really wasn't much to it.

  • Brian Balzer Greeters member
    November 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well this is only Awesome.

    You did a great job on this miss Carr. I love it. My favorite part was...Ok so I can't pick a favorite part. I loved the way you described the things you experienced without experiencing them. I like the ending. It is us as poets that serve the reader. That to me is poetic. My least favorite part? The {and} on line six. You don't need it. I think it sounds better without it. Great poem!


    • ACpoetry
      November 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah. The and is unessecary like you said. Thank you so much for the lovely compliment.

      Your Humble Servant,

      O.G. (Opera Ghost)
      Just kidding!

      - A.C.

  • Livin.4.God
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like it. It's deep. I didn't expect the way it ended, but it's very good. My, my, I just love how you twisted words into a simple poem.

    My favorite stanza is:
    "This mind...
    drifts away into an endless sea
    of thoughts
    a tree or a flower
    may stand in their view
    but travels back in time
    back...
    or journeys far away...
    into the jungles
    of the unexplored
    yearning for more
    to set their sights on."
    ^It's very descriptive and imagitive.. wow!

    Anyways, great job, as always!
    Hope.

1 - 6 of 6