two mourning doves
phone-line sitting sunrise
on a Wednesday without coffee,
swinging, stolid above concrete
and trickling passerby, come
in cars for good spots—
the doves step out into nothing
thrashing sky downward
like treading water, like
catching water, like Jesus,
straight out suicidal
at the blazing horizon—coos
of second-thought prayer
reverberating like red bells
for mercy from heaven to catch
them, lithe lovers, in gravity—
they boomerang and swoop back up
to phone-line perch—gargoyles
above permit parking—stolid
gray and feathered
faith, this Wednesday-
without-coffee sunrise,
a pair of mourning doves.
Reviews
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ha! pap, i liked how you end and begin the poem. The rearranging of the first three lines as your last three lines was not just a good form, but hinted a certain amount of humor. I have to confess the line "on a Wednesday without coffee" sort of made me stop. The idea is unimaginable to my caffeine-powered existence.
Anyway, as i've said before i'm enjoying this new style. The pacing is facilitated by the line breaks and the hyphenated words. The images are striking as well as the metaphor. I like how you use alliteration allowing this poem to roll of your tongue so smoothly. This was a good read pap as always. Glad to see you posting poems once in a while.
-iphio -
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hello from the states!
Iphio,
great to hear encouraging words from you!
i haven't been writing much lately. school has really been slowing my writing down. but a poem once in a while is nice...
ya know, one cup of coffee in the morning keeps me going the whole day. i almost never have caffeine, so it has a horribly strong affect on me. one morning, a few weeks back, i drank about six cups and could still feel the caffeine in my body when i went to bed that night. i was really tweaking. so no more than two at a time for me, or else i'm ridiculously hyper the first half of the day, then feel like crap from mid-afternoon till i go to bed...
as for the poem. it didn't really happen. i just saw the correct spelling for mourning doves and so they were stuck in my head (poems come to me in such odd and unexpected ways). i always thought it was "morning," and never considered "mourning." but i usually see them in the morning and at dusk. anyhow, they are my favorite bird, and are prominent here in the states. they are a sort of pretty pigeon. though i do not like or think that the pigeons one sees in a city are pretty. i'm sure you have them in your city. in New York, people call them "rats with wings."
always,
Pap
p.s. - how is life in your part of the world? the weather? school? the economy? fall has come here in Oklahoma and the trees are almost bare. getting quite cold outside. and as you know, the U.S. economy is going through some real rough times... and i voted for Obama! lol.
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good stuf
The emotions came through, I have absolutely had this Wednesday morning without coffee!
Favorite Line:
"the doves step out into nothing "
SHALOM
Carly
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My minds a little slow tonight.
It's not a lack of coffee since I don't drink it. At first I was questioning the use of mourning doves versus morning doves. Now I think that they are in mourning for the lack of coffee? Since I don't drink coffee I think I'm less likely to understand this feeling you're expressing. My father would have however. I only saw him cry twice in my lifetime. Once was when my mom was crying because Grandpa Cotton had died. The other time was the the one time he ran out of coffee.
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you could use a cup, then
Balzer,
thanks for stopping by here and leaving an unique trail of family history. and i do believe that either your father or Grandpa Cotton would have the answer to this riddle. but since they're not around...
"mourning dove" is the correct spelling. i, too, used to think it was "morning dove" becuase i would often see the doves in the morning and at dusk. but then i saw the name spelled out, and mouled it over in my mind a while. mourning doves were all in my head until i jotted this poem down. anyhow, as for the coffee issue, i happen to enjoy coffee, good coffee, and loath bad coffee. they are two seperte drinks entirely. but using "coffee" is only a way of describing my state of mind on an early morning, not the physical or mental state of the doves. ha! i'm quite drowsy here, watching two doves longer than i want to becuase i can't pull my eyes away, so i start seeing some deeper meaning in their flight from the phone line, see, some deeper meaning about faith, in their initial step into the air, like they know for certain they ain't gonna die, like they know their wings and some heavenly force will catch them and land them back dowon to roost safely on that same closeline in only a few more seconds.
anyhow, i made the whole thing up.
always,
Pap
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iphios
November 21, 2008