True magic
is the realization
that there is no magic
only sleight of hand
tricks
and real faith
is not believing
in anything
until God
sucks your dick
and lets you come
in her mouth
and the only miracles
are finding the twenty dollar bill
in your jeans pocket
that you washed
and forgot about
or screwing some woman
you just met at a bar
only a few hours ago
a spiritual leader
is anyone that
doesn’t ask you
to send money
and doesn’t
offer profound teachings
in order to attain enlightenment
which you reach
only when you realize
the best you can hope for
is to eke out
a meager
day to day existence
and quit worrying
about some
esoteric bullshit
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent and Irreverent!
Excellent work as usual, Dave.
Well-structured using direct phrases to get your points across.
I like this poem, as I am also irreverent.
Awesome work!
Rich
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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hey rich
thanks for commenting. irreverent is the perfect word. this is really a tame poem.
dave
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Hi dave
I think anyone who reads this and agrees with all of it has a serious problem or is not telling the truth
I agree with most of it,however i think the real disaster(not magic)is the realization that nothing is worth a shit,even screwing some bird you just met or finding twenty dollars in your jeans when you are totally skint.Regarding God,well you can ram all religion up your scortchpipe as far as i`m concerned,especially catholicism,that organization make you feel guilty for having sex,full stop,at least thats what the fuckers have done to me
Captivating work that has more moxy than ninety percent of all the poems I have read on here combined
bye
Rhet -
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hey rhet
what? i cant' believe you don't agree with all of this. hey, i know you might think there's some hope but you don't realize how hopeless everything is. look i'm starting a group of no-hopers and if you just come you'll see, and you'll become a true non-believer.
dave
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Hey Dave,
This poem portrays the concept of "no hope" very well. I like how this poem can provoke people. Its pessimistic to the very last drop that it works for me. It removes all things unexplainable and simply tells you: "here's what happens everyday...and that the only truth." Whether or not that's the intention that's how it seems. I do agree with the ideas, it brings down the abstract to reality. Its a plane crash, actually. Its blunt, it provokes, but i don't think it does anything else but state what's in the mind.Interesting read as always dave.
-iphios -
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hey iphios
your insights are spot on. i was thinking we're complex creatures and through the course of even a single day we may go from "anythings possible" to "i may as well die and get it over with" and all kinds or variations in between. so all i did was convey the no hope (as you say) state of mind.
dave
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an expected response?
Dave,
i don't have to tell you that this is not what i believe. and i'm not so certain that this is what you believe either. but i do like that you captured how we certainly feel sometimes, if anything. having faith is hard, Dave. especially when trying "to eke out a meager day to day existence." but in that light, it's always nice to believe in something bigger than myself, when i feel that i am going nowhere...
i find it interesting that you characterize God as female in the second stanza. almost sort of degrading. that's fresh, sadly. anyhow, that stanza is real crude and doesn't make much sense. the tone of the poem is extremely pessimistic, which isn't necessarily a bad thing (though i do shy from extremes), but you don't say why. where is your spite toward all that is "good" coming from? it seems negative for no reason. also, you misspelled "cum."
in all, Dave, this poem is standard for you in that it captures a darker side of human emotions, which most everyone can relate. it's easy to feel this way, and i think many people do, far too often. but (and here's my plug) God is love. not hate. that's what i believe, and i'm sticking to it... tho really, it is much harder to wright a poem about one's ups, than one's downs. one's faith, than one's lack of faith. so it seems to me.
always,
Pap
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hey pap
i read your response twice and i appreciate you expressing your view point without rancor, i as said in response to iphios, a person can swing from little to a lot of faith, to a total believer to no faith in the course of a day. i laid out one facet, no faith and ran with it, i think as people sometimes we want something tangible, that we can see, touch, feel, hold, like say a woman as say, oppossed to being alone for years and hoping or having faith that one day you'll met that special someone. theres that saying from Missurri, the show me state. but i deny no man there faith, for instance a lifer in prison, he needs all the faith he can muster. thanks for the comment and correcting my spelling of cum.
dave
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hey John
in response to your comment, i'm all over the place, mabye i was challanging people of faith, which like you say one of their poems would piss me off. and some schools of thought think poetry should anger, provoke etc. but maybe i was just playing devils advocote or being coy. i don't belief i was trying to presuade anyone here.
dave -
Creed v poetry
Hey Dave. I know this is not a bad mood poem, just an eloquent, if blunt expression of your nihilistic views to which you are entitled. I'd be careful not to argue a philosophical point here as it's not my business to try and persuade you to a more optimistic outlook. But you might consider how such a blunt statement of your own 'creed' might compare to a similar deposition by say a Muslim or a Christian. I suspect such a poem might piss you off. Just a thought and a point of poetry for your entertainment and consideration. >W< -
I can relate
I have a few pieces written in this same mind set. What's sad is that the mind set never goes away. You know how often I have family members try to convince me that my retaliation that nothing is out there and we are going to blink into nothing, was actually the devil winning? Lol the truth is I do not look at this as a pissed off piece. I do not look at it as an angry rant. I look at it as you smudging a circle with your sleeve in an otherwise grimy steamy window.
Bad metaphor I know.
language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 3.
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hey enoq
thanks for the insightful comment. it'd be easy to dismiss this as negative, but as just calling a spade a spade but your metaphor works just as well.
dave
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