Our reaction would be
spontaneous
exothermic
We'd release so much
energy as heat
we'd beat the
greenhouse gases
at melting ice caps.
So let's create
lethal toxins
in pretty colors
they won't live to see
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Different!
Short n sweet!
Yet as big as the universe...
Great writing! -
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Thank you so much, I like to keep my poems short, I think a short poem that says a lot is a lot more powerful than a long poem that says a little
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This is one of those I-love-it-for-some-reason-I-can't-put-my-finger-on type of poems. They're so awesome in a way so awesome that you can't put it into words, you know? Great job!
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Thank you very much!
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Goodness! So much energy created in these lines. Short, passionate.........especially like "So let's create
lethal toxins
in pretty colors
they won't live to see" sounds kind of new age Dorothy Parker-ish -
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Thank you very much, I like those lines too, I've thought about them a lot when I was writing this.
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I don't know why
but I like this poem. I don't know for sure what it's about, but I find that I don't care. I guess it's just the word pictures or something. I love:
So let's create
lethal toxins
in pretty colors
they won't live to see
Sometimes a poem doesn't have to "mean something" or be explicable in order to strike a chord. This is one of those, I guess. Keep up the good work.
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Thank you very much, at first I wanted this poem to be about love, but my poems never turn out the way I want them to be, don't know if that's a good thing or not. To be honest I'm not sure what it's about either, just something dangerous but exciting.
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What a sight though.
That would be one hell of a cool time to have an alien youtube equivalent. Watch earth suck itself into space and pretty much throw it back into a primordial state.
language: 5, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 5.
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Thank you, that would be cool
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Confused
Can't decide if it's meant to funny or passionate or a little menacing. Like it could be aliens talking, two lovers in a very hot relationship (my preferred choice) or a fraternity joke about farting. 'We'll' in the sixth line 'clunks' as a change of tense. If it's a love poem the 'poisonous gas' has to go. So does the laugh. Shit, like I said, I can't make up my mind about this one. >W< -
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i don't know what it's about either, but okay I'll make it into a love poem (I'll try)
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Confused
Can't decide if it's meant to funny or passionate or a little menacing. Like it could be aliens talking, two lovers in a very hot relationship (my preferred choice) or a fraternity joke about farting. 'We'll' in the sixth line 'clunks' as a change of tense. If it's a love poem the 'poisonous gas' has to go. So does the laugh. Shit, like I said, I can't make up my mind about this one. >W< -
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nevermind lol it's an alien poem
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This is fabulous but i do have a suggestion,the fact that you write
"We`ll beat the humans
at melting the ice caps"
makes it too clear that you are talking about a chemical reaction
by changing that line you could have a great Chemical reaction -Love type metaphor
I`m probably missing the point of this entirely but thats how i see it,
anyway,this is short,yes,but quite brilliant, like i wish there was more of it
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Thank you, you didn't miss the point, well actually there really is no point
I really like that line though, what if I take out the line before that, "we'd release so much energy as heat", would that work?
I know it's short, thats what happens to all of my poems, they're originally decent sizes but then I shrink them because I take out lines and dont replace them, oh well
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