I see a yellow car next to a
lamppost and a dog who is
attacking an old lady whose
shopping bags are full of fresh meat.
The driver of the yellow car
takes out his polaroid camera
and starts whacking the dog with it
The old lady drops her meat
then leaps into the yellow car
puts the stolen key into the ignition
and drives off, leaving the dog and the man.
The man looks at the dog scarfing the meat
next to his smashed polaroid camera
under the only lamppost on the block
and thinks to himself, what a way to strand
yourself in the middle of a dead street
so he calls a cab, a yellow one,
and takes the dog as evidence for his wife
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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great work.
This is some great work...I like it becouse it was new , it was frsh and with the shortness of it, time was running and i wanted to know what the outcome was going to be before i even finished the entire thing... so did she find the keys on the ground? how did that happen? I like the fact tha you did not have to rhyme to catch the attencion of the reader... good work
language: 3, rhythm: 1, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 4.
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Thank you very much, the old lady was just sneaky
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hey cee and rhet
action packed from the theatre of the absurd. could be part Mad Max and part Fellini movie.
dave -
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Thank you!
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Detective W. at your service! Now, run this by me again....
Thought you had difficulty thinking up new stuff to write about. No evidence of that here. Really enjoyed it, right to the last line, especially the last line. Then my analytical mind got going on it and I had to ask 'wouldn't the dog have to be part of the scam? He wouldn't be left behind. Only the meat. And the 'stolen key' clunked too. The guy wouldn't take his keys out of the ignition in a situation like this so the scam would be all the sweeter. No, the dog gets in the car with the 'old lady' (who has to get into inverted commas first!) and all the guy has to bring home is some dog meat and a great story.
I know, screw my analytical mind! Just my thoughts. Still loved it. >W<
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Darn it, you've stumped me
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