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We spin a tale or song so sweet,
each person can relate. For us it seems a natural feat, to expressively create. When our writings are complete, we nudge them into light. If our works have kept the beat, then we have done it right. For some, our poems are true retreat- from things that aren't so clear. Appeasing seventh sense replete, confronting our own fear. We publish less then we delete, displaying just our best. To do this work is quite a treat, a poet will attest. So please excuse this poems conceit, its wrong to be so proud. But if you think our poems are neat, you might read them out loud. |
Author notes
This is just a diddy that was stuck in my head. Kind of a fun piece to write but not that deep obviously lol.
Comments
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LoL. What an amusing bit of poetry. You seem to use the same rythme and meter that I tend to use, (so far anyways) I enjoy a poem that has the alternating ryhme ending in it. I see alot that doesnt have that and it makes it a challenge for me to stay focused, mainly because I am a singer/songwriter. So I enjoy poetry that pleases my spirit and is easy on my lyrical value. The two I have read of yours so far did just that.
Keep it coming and ty for sharing.

language: 3, rhythm: 4, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 3.
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Thank you!
This piece was a lot of fun to write. It was one of those things that you get stuck in your head until you write it out.
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Excellent
Wonderfully structured poem that resonates a good flow of words. The subject is one that I think is very popular on this site
. I not sure it this is what you where going for but the poem seems to have a fun and floating feel to it(but that's what I get from it doesn't so it really doesn't count)
. To me the beats seem to be spot on so I think I have rambled on long enough. Keep up the excellent writing Enoq I always enjoy reading your work. 
Distant Unknown

language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 3, form: 4.
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Thank you
This was a very fun piece to write.
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I usually can't stomach regular abab poetry (it remind me too much of school i suppose) but i thought this was great. I couldn't help but smile whilst reading it, like some kind o fguilty pleasure. Ye smuch love,
I did notice a small oddity here though. Maybe it's because i'm British, but i always pronounce 'poems' with two syllables i.e. po-ems. I could be wrong here but i think you were writing it with just one syllable in mind. I know this is all probably nonsense but i felt the poem flowed much better when i shortend the 'po-ems' to simple one word 'poems'. It all flowed much better. Have we unearthed another difference in dialect from over the pond or is it just a bit too late for me? Who knows....
Well i've clogged up your page long enough! Keep on writing!
language: 2, rhythm: 4, subject: 3, tone: 4, form: 4.
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Thank you
I appreciate the cultural exchange. I had not thought to apply correct English to my poems syllable counts, thought I am quite certain it would result in many Americans feeling the rhyme scheme a bit off. That is a conundrum I shall deliberate on. Thank you again for taking the time to read and comment on my work. Cheers.
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hi
ok i`ve counted the beats in each stanza,i think this is right:
8687 stanza 1
7676 stanza 2
8686 stanza 3
8686 stanza 4
8686 stanza 5
you must be aiming for 8686 in each stanza i guess, so you now know exactly where the beat isn`t quite right(as you know my rhyming knowledge is next to zero so please take this critique with a pinch of salt as i dont have much of a clue what im talking about,but i might be right)
the content itself is honest,easy to follow and accurate
i enjoyed reading it,i hope you feel the same about this comment
see you later
bye

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lol
Quite a break down. I hadn't noticed because I was just sort of going with a rhythm that pleased my mind. I guess I was going for 8686 abab. I will clean it up when I get some more free time. Thank you for the read and great comment. Happy Thanksgiving.
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