Mama,
I can’t see
Not a thing
Mama,
Everything is blurry
And flume felled
Mama,
Where are we?
Why is everything invisible?
Mama,
Why is it scratchy?
Why is it rough?
Mama,
It isn’t fair
I’m only five
Mama,
Why am I
Blind?
Author notes
Honestly, I don't know anyone blind, so..
But I saw a picture on microsoft powerpoint, and it was a forest that was all blury. That's where I got my inspiration from. xD
Hope.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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One of my friends is blind. He's been blind from birth, though, so he never had these questions. He calls it "technical difficulties."
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Thank you for the read and comment Ja Vorbesc!
Hope.
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OMG!
This is sad. Emotional and sad.
A five year old being blind.
Good work "Hope"
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5.
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Thank you Smilie!
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Thank you...
February Angel, The Distant Unknown, and Lake Absence for the read and comment! I'm glad you enjoyed! -
It's short but it transmits emotions .It's terrible that a 5 year old kid says to his mom that he can't see .I like the fact that you're inspired from a blurry dark forest .Blindness can be interpreted in many ways .Keep it up !
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I like this
I found your format a little short but I liked it, for it captured the mindset of that blind child. The words are very simplistic but they speak bounds. I find allot of the time these are the most effective kind of poems at times.
Thanks for another wonderful write Courage
Distant Unknown
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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Succint.
I like this. I do know someone blind, one of my cousins in PR actually. This is good except for the repition of Mama...It was kind of annoying because the verses are so short. I can see what you're trying to do, but honestly I think you're better off having different starters for each verse.
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