A friend of mine told me
about how he christened
his new apartment
by having sex with a women
sporting a goatee.
He prefaced this statement
by saying,
WE sure do get some strange chicks
implying that I was just as bad
as he was.
I don’t deny I’ve been with some freaky women
but they’ve all been clean shaven.
He finished the story
saying he bought
a quilt she made for ten bucks.
Maybe she was able
to buy some razor blades.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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A good laugh
Lol ty for that one thee first poem on here I straight out laughed at. Can't wait for the next. -
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hey zerO
thanks for commenting. hope i can keep you laughing.
dave
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Well, thats horrifying. However, maybe now that he's woken up with the worst anything he brings home can only be more fair by comparison, a devious tactic indeed.
Was the quilt purchase a flirt mechanism or post intercourse obligation I wonder? -
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hey RD
thanks i really enjoyed your comment. yeah like Nietzche says' what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. and i think is was post intercourse obligation. (wish i'd thought to that and written it in the poem)
dave
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Hirsute Chicks?
Is the bloke sure she was human? Or indeed which end was he bonking, Dave? I´ve bagged some mon cheries with goatish quims but none with such evident chin-wagging whiskers...
Hmmmmm... chinwagging, yeah that puts me in foul mind of something - might be useful.
I expect she was an artist escaped from the circus and that shaving her facial growth would deprive her of an honest living.
Cheers!
billygGoat
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hey gG
razor burn is always a turn off especially if your getting it from a woman.
dave
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no northren Nevada carnival here...
i heart this.
no florish or tactical embellishment.
good clean punch to this.
the briefness of it works perfectly- just as a thought- in and out.
look forward to reeading more.
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hey delayed screening
thanks for the read and the comment
dave
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WHAT?!?!
Christened by sex with a bearded lady...what exactly is he trying to dedicate his time there to?? wow, this is special!
I like the poem though!
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hey carly
i guess desparation makes for strange bed fellows.
dave
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lol
Poor facial haired women. I feel bad. It's almost like a guy not ever being able to grow facial hair.
interesting piece for sure!
language: 3, rhythm: 2, subject: 5, tone: 2, form: 2.
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hey enoq
thanks for commenting. i think its way worse.
dave
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lol well it's gotta be christened somehow, and not everybody can be a lady killer. I love how people always replace the "I" with "we" to try and reduce the embarrassment to themselves by including you into the picture. LoL well I liked the short little tale, thought it was original and obviously has a comedic sense to it. nicely done.
TTYL
MMlanguage: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 3.
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hey marcus
you got it exactly marcus, like they say, "there's no I in team."
dave
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Dave...
All women have facial hair. Perhaps your friends mistake was in not donating the ten dollars BEFORE the commencement of pleasantries? Then maybe preface the whole christening with a date at the barbers for a bit of coy foreplay, eh? Nobody likes whisker-burn, least of all a man.
Again with the anecdotal story poems that we love so much.
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hey dun
you remind me of this guy who went by the nom de plume meister. he was a very witty and and outspoken and a very good writer. We missed that guy.
dave -
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Hey thanks, dave.
I experienced a naming kerfuffle over at Storywrite and being as how they're a little more parsing in their freebie memberships, I have to wait two weeks before changing back. That, and after delivering some good-humored(I thought) mockings, I feared some needed a break to forget my asshole status that I might accost them anew and unawares. I'll be getting that name back soon. But thanks for noticing, dave.
Strangely, people don't cotton much to rhymes on a story writing site...fancy that, the intransigent buggers...so damned exclusive. So, I thought I might bore you all with my unsophisticated and not-new-age rhyming style until you gave me a highfalutin' ass-whacking for ever trying to rhyme like the clueless literary hillbilly that I am(apparently, cool poets don't rhyme anymore) and then begged and pleaded that I join the crowd in writing prose broken up to look like poetry...
But I won't do it.
Thanks dave. It's great to be back in the midst of a bunch of sissy poets.
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what can I say other than YOU sure do have a friend with low standards or a fetish for hairy women
very well written and extremely funny/sick/weird
Rhet -
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hey rhet
i'd say he was desperate, so desperate he'd screw a woman sporting a beard. and to make him self feel better he said "we" anyway having to sleep with facial hair is the pits.
dave
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