I think it may have been a mistake
so i'll end up with another heartbreak
because he had too many problems
and i ended up having to solve them
chorus:
i can feel it comin'
so now i'm just runnin' away
i might say that it's nothin'
but wat do i have at the end of the day?
i'm falling down, down, down
my head's spinning 'round, 'round, 'round
no place to go, nothing to show
it's gonna be a break up
just a normal break up
that's all a break up
he took me for granted
in my brain he planted
his fake love
i shook my head and laughed
i told him that i have
had enough
i turned away and shut the door
didn't want to see his face no more
(chorus)
that's it, it's going to be over
he' going to be someone elses lover
(chorus)
so it was a mistake
just another heartbreak
with too many problems
and i don't have to solve them
it was a break up, break up
just a normal break up, break up
that's all it was....
Author notes
Ok, what do i change. i really want to know everything that i need to improve on....which is EVERYTHING. anywayz i really need your guys' help with this. i think i'm getting worse with my poetry because i'm trying too hard. anything spelled wrong? any lines out of place? hows my grammar and timing?
Comments
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Well to give you what you are wanting I need a bit of a better idea how this sounds like what kind of music are you going for? I am trying to sing it in my head but not quite sure what it should sound like but other than that I can give you some advice. First if you are trying hard to write something that will effect the writing for sure. For better or worse depending. One tip is to capatalize the starting of lines it makes it easier to read atleast more me. On the second line try dropping the so that is just one suggestion it cuts the flow right there. And on the fourth line maybe a rewording of them. like I said earlier this is a son gso it is harder for me to analyze flow. The rest the flow seems good. I like the lyrics and the point in the song. I am hoping I was some help. Yeah if you tell me what time siganture it is in and what genre of music I might have some more advice. Good writing though
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