I haven't been to Coney Island
but when I am unhappy
I'll take a ferry there
I'll get inside
an empty teacup and spin
round and round and round
and round and round and
pigeons
and the smell of the ocean
that I can dive into and
disappear
but I wont
and couples on the ferris wheel
it gets cold up there
they don't care
they just need to save each other
from getting eaten by the night
round and round and round
and round and round and
I'm not like that man
perched on the building
or the girl holding
that
needle
I'm having fun
in a teacup
I'm laughing aren't I
you can see
on Coney Island
round and round and round
and round and round and round
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This reminds me that I should actually go to Coney Island, it's been awhile and it's only $2 away....
The mental get away, it's a great way to lose yourself and drown out the rest of the world. My own place is a little more remote and free of people, but we all go where we're comfortable.
There's something of child-like innocence here, like when you find a cardboard box, but it's not a box is it? It's your whole world for those few short moments, a ship, a castle, a friend a foe.
My favorite stanza was the Ferris wheel one, it's so simple but intuitive, this was much fun to read,
keep it up!
-RD
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Thanks, I've really never been to Coney Island. You do take a ferry to get there, right?
I actually got the idea for this poem from a movie. -
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No you don't take a ferry, you take a subway train. I live in Brooklyn so it's pretty close.
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Oh darn it, I remember now. Oh well. Thanks
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What I can relate to...
is the mental vacation destination! I go to Montana on a hill side that over looks a valley, beneath a deciduous tree with flowers, birds, wind.... you get it. I love to know I am not the only one with a predetermined mental refuge!
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Thank you very much, I love those places too!
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Fun
This poem has a wonderful sense of excitement and you really express the things around you. But you don't care because your having fun, I love this poem for what is was a hopeful and carefree piece. Good Job
Distant Unknown
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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Thank you!!
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Wow!
Aw, Cee this is just ... a breath of fresh air. It has tremendous hope and imagery in it. One of the best poems I've read anywhere in a long time. Best of all, I can't exactly put my finger on just WHAT is so good about it - like all the greatest art. It's just my opinion but, wow! You are SO good. I hate you! Hugs >Q<
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Thanks very much, I'm glad you liked it!
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This reminds me of a horror film with a young kid in it,
it freaks me out a little,like someone is spying in a perverse sort of way
I think you have done a brilliant job here,i like all of it,the imagery and flow is just right,the round and round part really works for me,its one of the eeriest poems i have ever read
i love it
bye
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wow, is it really eerie? Thanks, I didnt know I could do that, well I'm flattered, thanks so much
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