I look at the wide out ocean
Seeing where you are
Remembering the times
We shared together
But then you left
For the war
To defend the country
But you left me
Alone to
Defend me by myself
No one to protect me
To shield me from darkness
And horrors
And now your gone
I know
Though I’m in denial
“It can’t be possible”
I scream from a mob of tears
I had got the letter
A few days earlier:
“Ma’am I’m sorry to
Say, your husband
Is dead”
Is all I remember
Now I can’t stop
Crying
Because you left
Left everything and
Everyone
Why, why did this war
Ever start?
Comments
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Thank you both...
Bigcoolyo and The Distant Unknown for the read and wonderful comments! I appriciate your comments.
Hope. -
Bravo
Such a good write hope capturing every emotion, I was beginning to get teary such a sad story that brings forth a horrible truth. This poem expresses how war can be so senseless and can tear out the hearts of the ones who have loved ones fighting. My favorite part is:
"Now I can’t stop
Crying
Because you left
Left everything and
Everyone
Why, why did this war
Ever start?"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So deep and meaningful Hope keep writing these wonderful poems.
Distant Unknown
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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True...
This is true... for the feelings of the sorrows. Sometimes, you may feel anger because he left u even though he said promise me to take care of urself. U'll feel anger and numbness. I feel the same. That's wat a lot of people feel after they had been left by their love ones. Ur poem gives the reader a picture and ,again, a description. Keep up with the definition and keep going with the subject. Great job, creating this poem with your OWN thoughts/ feelings. KEEP IT UP!!!!
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 3.
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