It's a scary thing,
"enlightenment"
The truths of the real world set in stone
with no room for hope or imagination
Reality's beyond the backyard fence,
but the grass here is green enough for me
and it's no fun playing in concrete.
Hide in this room with me
and never turn on the lights
they're much too sharp
I don't really want to see you anyway.
If we trip,
mother will catch us.
If we die,
we'll never have to grow old.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Wonderful
As Rhetorica has already said this is a complex subject that has been masterfully condensed into these short sentences. I'm starting to notice that allot of your writes are pretty deep and meaningful. Lovely flow of words and thoughts, so many different levels to explore this poem so little room to comment
. Well I think its absolutely wonderful and I tip my hat off to you(if I was wearing a hat 
). Keep theses fabulous poem coming. 
Distant Unknown
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 4, form: 4.
-
-
Thank you very much! My English teacher told me that what distinguishes poetry from other types of writing is that in poetry, every single word is important, I usually like to keep my poems short and condensed because I don't want it to be painful for the reader (and also because I don't have that many things to say anyway!)
I know I don't like to read fluff, I'm sure you don't either.
-
-
Interesting perspective. Poetically I liked the flow and the movement the images and all that sutff. Though this poem makes me think and I think that is what makes it a good poem. I think about several different things one thing is how much I like to know about how stuff works. Though I notice it really does take away that beauty. Though the more I know the more questions I have. Really interesting subject I could spend a lot of time pondering this. Good read. ^^
-
-
Thank you! Usually I like to know how things work as well, but it's no fun knowing everything, you wouldnt be able to ask questions and make discoveries and have epiphanies
-
-
You`ve done a wonderful job here condensing such a complicated topic,who wants the truths of the world revealed to them anyway,there would be nothing left to know,then what the hell would we do?..you wouldn`t be able to play,"Did you know?" for a start.
Sometimes your poetry just stands out all by itself like you could almost tell it was written by you
It`s great you`re around
bye
-
-
Thank you, thats exactly what I mean, I wouldn't want to know everything, actually I am kind of scared of knowing too much, sometimes I wish Never ever land existed so that I could live there with my buddy peter pan
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
