the world around me
comes crashing down at my feet
as i cover my ears
at every silent scream
my victums make
the blood lust is so hard to control
as i let myself go
i try to hide the pain
but i can not denie
what i have become
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Comments
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"the blood lust is so hard to control
as i let myself go
i try to hide the pain
but i can not denie
what i have become"
the first stanza was confusing but i liked it. i reall like the last verse though. it explains so much. even though you do not use Vampire anywhere in the poem that last verse tells it all and there is no need to use the word vampire. exclent write dear friend.
Blessed Be
~Starla~
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Wow
Hey sis love the poem but lol you spelled denie wrong, it's deny hehehe......It's a great poemlanguage: 3, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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