How did it come to pass that Santa Claus,
That jolly fellow dressed in red who flies
Across the firmament of heaven, lies
With anal-probe inserted `pon all fours?
Examined in minutest detail, scores
Of aliens on either side, he cries
Aloud in pain and shock before bug eyes
Of Greys conversing through inverted maws
In speech which seems to echo deep in rifts
Of aching wired-up hypothalamus!
Groaned reindeer-mutilators´ abductee:
“Now how shall Earthling sprogs receive their gifts?”
But fiends dissect the corpse of King Christmas –
These jingle bells, dear Nick, do toll for thee.
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