Endings Downstream

I crept downstream in the gray light
And sat on the banks to watch you.
Lying in the river,
With your throat clogged and cold,
Your sandy hair drifting like seaweed around your face.
Suicide, they will call it,
But why.
I can imagine you,
Pulling the rock onto your chest,
It would feel so right there
The weight you’ve carried for so long,
Tangible at last.
I cannot stay here,
If they find me with you,
A new word will make its way to their minds-
Murder.
You deserve the death you made for yourself
Rather than one made up for you
You wanted them to know, in the end.
I was never strong enough to leave you,
So you left me,
In every way you could.
Was I that bad?
Enough to drive you to the stream,
Where you greeted fish and failing light
Like old friends.
Down by the river
I still don’t have the strength to leave you,
So I stay.
I have worry stones of my own.