I'm truly sorry
I apologize for not being your "daughter"
but you don't know me very well
Please stop the "nonsense" that you use to
magnetize me
I'm a dilapidated child for now and forever
for today and tomorrow
I live to make you proud
I live to see a smile so eacstatic of joy
But life seems to befuddle me from
it's ambigous meaning
i don't know, but you seem very
hostile of your words and actions of fatherhood
I'm truly sorry
I apologize for not being your "daughter"
but you don't know me very well
And you'll never know me
if you don't try harder
...
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by " +Daug=h/Terx "
Author notes
Please feel free to ask ONLY one question from this poem!
Comments
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I agree with rhetorica.
If you want to use words that aren't in your typical vocabulary, you should at least make sure they are spelled correctly. The Add Poem feature contains a spellcheck, although I find Microsoft Word's spell check is better, and then of course you can always check yourself. =] I think the poem would actually have a better effect on the reader if you don't try to use the more complex words and use simpler words...It'll add a sense of innocence that would be appropriate with your content. -
hi,
I`m not sure if the couplets really work for this poem,generally speaking they are meant to rhyme and have the same meter but this poem is more like a letter so(IMHO) it would work better if it was written as such.Nevertheless its very heartfelt and i`m sorry if things are not great just now.One more thing,if you feel the need to write "big" words such as ecstatic and ambiguous you must be certain you spell them properly otherwise it comes across like you are writing them simply to impress,I`m sorry if this comment sounds harsh but i`ve only written it because i like your poems very much,so keep writing and keep smiling
bye
rhet
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