I'm scared to be alone with you
Don't take this personally
It's not emabarassing
To paint the town red
With you by my side
I'm young. I'm old. I'm big. I'm small.
I'm everything in between.
I'm mine. I'm yours. I'm alone. I'm with you.
I'm everything but ready.
Ready to settle down.
Please don't hate me
Try to empathize
I haven't even walked out of my yard yet
Give me time to grow
Just whatever you decide
Remember to wait for me
Author notes
I wrote this after me and my guy had our second date
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i like this,it proves to me that you have sense,what sort of idiot would want to settle down after a second date anyway?
i haven`t even walked out of my yard yet is a great line that offers me a lot to get my teeth into
i`m not too keen on the last two lines though,if he decides to move on then he wont wait for you,
i like your no nonsense style,its refreshing to read
bye
rhet
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the last two lines ARE rather selfish, but a girl can dream, right? it would be nice to know that when i was ready he'd be standing in the same place ready for me. he said he would wait...but we'll see.
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thanks rhet. there's more to the story, but this is the main point.
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Welly welly well...
Echoes of my English professor of years ago reverberate in the largely acid-eaten recesses of my cranium sponge. She told me to "show don't tell." I think she ripped that one off of Ezra Pound, but we'll cut her some slack, she was making a crucial point in not only poetry, but all of art. Instead of telling me how you feel about Mr. or Miss Lucky Ducky, show me in images. What is it like in sensory terms to be so scared of life that you don't want to leave your yard? Really? You don't want to leave the yard? Wow. -
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What i meant by 'i haven't even walked out of my own yard yet' was that i haven't even been out of my own environment yet. i want to see everything i want to see, do everything i want to do, experience everything before i settle down with anyone. i have to admit, this is one of my sucky poems, and not even poem to me. more like a song. i do have another which has more imagerey if you would like to read it. it's more of 'seventh heaven, im in love' type poem.
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Interesting, but...
life, just as time, waits for no man(or woman).
Otherwise, this shares an apt sentiment, conveying well the good sense of easing into a relationship with both eyes open. In today's world of "falling madly in love" and one night stands I often wonder if society is losing sight of what a "relationship" is anymore. It seems that less and less take the time to build something lasting, choosing instead to reap what they have not sown by time, consideration and just plain getting to know one another. Because you cannot love someone without knowing them. Many try, and many end up broken-hearted and sobbing the phrase "I never knew you". No kidding. That's why time is a great thing to take, and it looks like you're doing just that. Good for you.
I'm not one for dissecting form as I follow none of my own. I simply ask the question "did I get what you were trying to say and did I feel it?" The answer to both of those questions is a certain "yes".
Nice job.
al
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i'll admit it. the form sucks. but you understand what i was talking about, and for that, i'm happy
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I didn't think it was bad. I thought the form did well to convey thoughts from a contemplative, unsure place. The way that each line is so short and self-contained makes every thought a loose one all in a jumble like we often are at times like this when feeling lost or unsure. I thought the form was well-suited to what you were saying. I thought the form was one of the best parts of this write.
al -
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im glad you thought that. i haven't looked at it like that. it was merely coincidence, though. funny how things work out like that.
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Nyahhh, it's not coincidence. If you let your mind go when you write it will naturally write the way that you think. Far more will make it into your writes than can when you "try" to plan everything out. At least that's true for me.
I believe that we all innately know how to express ourselves, we just have to find that place of trust where we can let 'er rip and flow in the way that we feel it. My favorite writes are the quickest writes that are simply written from a feeling directly onto the screen.
al
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Wow, this is exactly how I've felt in most of my relationships!! It seems like everyone usually wants to take things too fast to get to the next level. I find it better to sit down and enjoy the moment, rather than always thinking ahead. I can really relate to these words. Thank you for sharing. ;-)
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Exactly
Why do we have to rush? I want to enjoy every moment, and if it was meant to be something more, it will happen when it's supposed to happen.
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