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In Your Absence

In Your Absence


Music from the joys of loving past moments
Soon grows still in the quiet of night
I lie stretched out in the darkness
Inviting your shadow into my bed
I toss and turn feeling restless
Distracted as a snowbound goose
Haphazardly drifting


Now, my life's in an unfamiliar forest
Like the murky, gray after-image of a dream
Where we lay in the soft blue-green grasses of love
I wait for a step
I've waited quietly this day, no step has fallen
Your journey has lasted long and in your absence
Each day comes
And goes

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Comments


  • Dying Youth
    December 24, 2008

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    I wouldnt improve it much, but knowing myself, I like to write long poems. If it were me, i would make it just a tad bit longer. you had wonderful imagery though, and that's what I look for in a poem.
    good work

    Haylee


  • The Distant Unknown silver member
    December 23, 2008

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    Nice Lanuage

    To be honest I'm not the best critique but I can say that I really enjoy the lanuage you used in this write I hope you keep up the good work.

    Distant Unknown

    PS Favorite Stanza:

    "Now, my life's in an unfamiliar forest
    Like the murky, gray after-image of a dream
    Where we lay in the soft blue-green grasses of love
    I wait for a step
    I've waited quietly this day, no step has fallen
    Your journey has lasted long and in your absence
    Each day comes
    And goes"