Love is The Slowest Form Of Suicide (Lacey's story)

Love is the slowest form of suicide
You can choose to believe this or not
All the emotions you feel inside
Are smashed right there on the spot

Yeah, he took you in, said he loved you
But you were a toy between his sheets
Now you’re left asking “What do I do?”
While he doesn’t lose a wink of sleep

Think back to middle school, and your very first crush
You thought you had it made
His very name made you blush
And inside you hoped, you prayed

That this older boy would love you just
As much as you loved him
You poured into him, all your trust
Though you knew your chances were slim

It turns out though, his lies persuaded you
To give up being pure
Young as you were, you didn’t know what to do
What had happened, you weren’t sure

He left you with your clothes askew
And a stinging, biting pain
You knew then he was never true
He lied to you in vain

You moved on then but the thought remained
That you had lost something valuable
That dollar store red lace panty was now permanently stained
And you knew you were in trouble

But the years went on, now let’s go back
To your sophomore year in school
When everyone was smoking crack
And having sex was so cool

You told yourself again and again
I won’t fall into that rut
I won’t commit those ugly sins
I won’t become a slut

But it became known that the cutest boy
In your crowded high school
Was looking to make you his girl toy
And you couldn’t help but drool

It was middle school all over again for you
As he invited you to his house
You were so oblivious, you had no clue
That he would soon be removing your blouse

Remember that day you were wearing that bra
The one with the bow you bought cheap at the target?
Well he took that right off and sucked your skin raw
Did you really ever forget?

As he went further still, you knew that you had
To push the monster away
He was just like that boy in middle school, so very bad
And you wished you hadn’t decided to stay

Well, this guy didn’t listen to your screams and pleads
Or your punches across his back
He only cared about satisfying his needs
He didn’t mind your attack

He pulled himself out of you as you cried
And cleaned up his mess with a sigh
You couldn’t believe he was the second one who lied
All you could do was ask why

You cried, "I’m only sixteen! Do I really deserve this?"
You were lucky he didn’t give you a baby
You couldn’t believe this had grown from a kiss
And that his “love” had only been a maybe

Your senior year you had crawled inside a shell
You wouldn’t let anyone touch you
No one knew about your personal hell
And what your life had put you through

You kept going back to those days of your youth
When that older boy broke your heart
Crying in shame, you knew the truth
You had been a whore from the start

Now you’re fifty six and the truth has sunk in
You are alone, no one to love, no one to kiss or cherish
You walk through life with a permanent grin
Hoping someone will grant your wish

But ever since high school your horrible choices
Have caused you to become broken
And all your life you have heard these voices
Telling you to be unspoken

Your life will remain unknown and destroyed
But your memories will remain the same
You will always regret never having enjoyed
Life, which they call a game

Love is the slowest form of suicide
And now you know this is true
You will always miss the part of you that died
As you try to start over new