I brought back nestling dolls from Europe's east,
blue, new, smiling, like a quail in their pudge
they traveled in my heavy bag
wrapped between socks and silky shirts
smiling simply on the skies there (gray
and withdrawn and old, a thousand years
kissed by serfs and prince and wayward wanderers)
the skies between (androgynous, now air
now skin now water only vaguely limply
protectant over tiny patchwork lands)
and finally my own skies (like a bird's egg
all new and polished brilliant
close above my red hills and their trees,
limpid, turgid with its laughter).
When I unwrapped them, slowly, from
their linen confines I held them softly
looking past the garish colors (turned
brighter, lurid, now I left that darker place)
back to the busy store's interior, now
calm and dusty in my makeshift memories.
I held them close and pulled to open
the mother's lovely shell, to watch her beget
her daughters from beneath her hooped skirts
to see one generation pass before another,
and behold them all aligned in likeness
and watch their dancing eyes.
But she held fast, their laughing mother,
and in the hallowed hollow wood I felt
the throbbing of the daughters, pulsing like
an infant in her woody womb,
a dampened life pounding on my
cupped hands just inches from my grasp.
She held fast so I took a razor to her
and heard Cantabile's muted strains
as I hacked in meditative firmness
and breached seams within the wood,
Tolstoy's sobs and Pyotr's scribbling
(coming from Vanya's own splintered wounds?)
lilting to my ears.
She stayed shut and I gave up
fingers bloody but unhurt
and I placed her on my mantle
to taunt us in our youth
and laugh as we grow older,
her own daughters young within her
never to be crowned in silver
and clad in gleaming white.
Author notes
I can't get my Russian dolls open.
"Cantabile" is in reference to that movement from Tchaikovsky's string quartet in D Maj (the first, I believe). I think the movement is Andante Cantabile. perhaps.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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well spun!
I love this piece! I am always facinated by the perspectives and interests of others. That is one of the reasons I love poetry in general. You had some very well chosen descriptives here. Very well spun images. I love the taunt of the last stanza:
"
She stayed shut and I gave up
fingers bloody but unhurt
and I placed her on my mantle
to taunt us in our youth
and laugh as we grow older,
her own daughters young within her
never to be crowned in silver
and clad in gleaming white."
Well done!
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Salty
Hi Nienna. This kept me reading to the end in a most satisfying way. Your work with the imagery of the brightly painted dolls, the packed suitcases, the dark landscapes, the bright skyscapes - was all very pleasing. I particularly liked your reflections of the 'generations' and 'woody womb' was wonderful. I felt you overworked the use of brackets in the first stanza but other than that it was a strikingly atmospheric write, delicately salted with the flavours of Mother Russia. Well done and thank you. >W<
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Thank you much, Mr. >W< for the read and the comment and the honesty. I must find a way to revise the first stanza, so thank you for drawing my attention to that. As always, your feedback is so much appreciated. Good to see you (in a way).
N
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Hey Nienna,
As always, the simplest things turn into gold with your eye for detail and subtle hand. The title drew me in as the name "Vanya" made me think of Dostoyevsky. Aside from the beautiful story telling in this simple act of opening a Russian doll, i enjoyed the soft rhythm that glides from one line to the next. The little insertions of alliterations, interesting words, and music made this come alive (or should i say, made the russian doll feel like a mother indeed). A definite good read.
-iphios -
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Hey, Phige.
My most dedicated reader. Thank you for the time and the comment! I haven't been the most dedicated in replying or returning the favor, but I hope that will change as of late. Your reassurance--as always--means the world to me, and I'm glad that this one passed with your approval. Good to see you (hope I'll see you more!).
Much love,
N.
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Intriguing.
What a very descriptive and creative way to tell of your difficulties getting your souvenir to work. Lol. I like the music and literature allusions, it shows that you are definitely well-read and cultured. At least in Russian arts.
I like the free verse style, although I feel like I'm just reading a story that's been put into stanzas and lines. I know that's what several famous poems are, essentially, (such as The Iliad, the Odyssey, Paradise Lost, The Inferno, etc.), but those had definite meter and structure. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with your meter, I just feel that there could have been something more to it.
Keep on writing.
-Wall -
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, NETW (that's, uh, quite a mouthful). I just had this conversation with a friend (or so it feels). My ending comment was that all of my author's notes have to be taken with a grain of salt
One of my favorite pieces of advice handed out here is to let the poem stand for itself. So I do, but I always find myself a smartass when it comes to the author's notes. That was the impetus, true, but it became something else, or it wouldn't be a poem. Hopefully that makes some sense.
I hear your quibble with my meter, and it's duly noted. I did notice that you like a definite patterh. That's cool, I can dig it, but I have a philosophy (which gets long) about rhyming and fitting things. So I have a pattern I follow which probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense. And maybe is just like a story put into stanzas and lines. But I get to use the words I want There's a way to go about rhythm and meter, and that's in books, and currently I don't have those books, so when I do I'll give it a whirl, and hopefully come out better for it. Sing songy rhythm just doesn't quite cut it for me (not that I'm saying that's what you do, just that that's what it'd be currently without...training, or whatever). Sorry if this rambles, it's late and it's been a long time since I've had to reply to a comment; I appreciate the time and the feedback!
N
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