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The Seed

My feelings towards her

were always so clear.

It was love at first sight.

I worshiped the ground she walked on.

I adored her little habits.

The way she constantly needed me

was so endearing.

Something happened between us.

A seed had been planted.

Then the love faded to like.

I still found her habits cute.

It was still nice that she always needed me.

Then the like somehow changed.

It was now indifference.

I stopped noticing her habits.

I didn’t care that she needed me.

The indifference didn’t last long.

It became a slight dislike.

Her habits became annoying.

She needed me a little too much.

The dislike grew stronger.

The habits I once adored

I now found aggravating.

She gave me no space

or time to myself.

My dislike continued to evolve.

Her habits constantly made mad.

I had no room to breathe.

My feelings were so strong.

I couldn’t stand her habits.

She was suffocating me.

The seed which was planted

in my love for her had grown.

It had become Hate.

Author notes

This poem was written for mpommr. I hope it will be useful for your essay.

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Expressions. silver member
    April 7, 2009

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    Wow

    That had a lot of feeling behind it... It made me feel infurior like I was the one pissing the narrator off..
    Great write, full of emotion.

    -Krista
    SS
    MissingTheRain
    Bleeding Ink

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      April 15, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I'm glad you could feel the emotion of it. I actually wrote this for Mpommr because they were doing an essay on things about hate. I wrote a total of three (while watching my son and his friend skate) for Mpommr to look at. It was once again something new as I'd never written like this before. Sorry it made you feel inferior though. I doubt you could ever piss me off like that. Thanks again.


  • Birdie Stringfellow
    February 11, 2009

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    Emotional Stirring

    If you've ever been through this type of situation, the emotion in which it stirs within you is tremendous. It is full of truth. Also, I noticed it is a different style of writing for you --no rhyming scheme. Good job at this type of writing, too.
    Birdie

    language: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 3, form: 4.

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      February 20, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      not only for taking the time to read my work but also for the time to leave me comment letting me know what you thought. I wrote this for someone doing an essay on hate. Since joining sharepoetry I've been trying to learn to write in different styles. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you again.

  • GirlyGoth246
    January 28, 2009
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    WOW!!!! dude your awesome!!!! that is wow!!!! AMAZING!!!

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      January 31, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you thought of it. I really appreciate the compliment. This is a new type poem for me as most of mine are more light and happy. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks again.


  • natureangel
    January 15, 2009

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    Profoundly disturbing :O

    A soulful reflection of a path that many of us skipped along at first, dandered hand in hand, then reluctantly walked before we lay down on the ground and kicked our heels in anger, resentment and hate - aww isn't it sad when love sours **

    A beautiful write Brian that captures how the mood changes as the tide of love turns.

    Monica

    language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      January 28, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      It is indeed quite sad when relationships take this path. Unfortunately, as you have said, many of us have traveled this road before. Some of us have traveled both sides of this road. I'm glad you felt I captured this sad tale and did it justice. As always thank you for the read, comment and compliment.


  • Nickelspring
    January 15, 2009

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    I really like evolution poems. This one expresses something most of us can relate to. I like your word choices that show so well the metamorphasis of the feelings that were experienced. It is interesting to take the first three lines and the last three lines and see the contrast the poem presents:
    "My feelings toward her
    were always so clear.
    It was love at first sight.
    The seed which was planted
    in my love for her had grown.
    It had become Hate.
    KW~

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      January 27, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      This was once again something new for me. I'm glad you liked it. It is true that unfortunately most people can relate to this poem. Many have been on one side or the other of this type of relationship. Some, like myself, have been on both sides. It is interesting to see the way you have made a readers digest version with the first and last three lines. Thanks again for the read, comment and the compliment.


  • gingerhall1976 silver member
    January 5, 2009
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    excellent

    Brian this is such a heartfelt poem it is heard to believe that it was written for someone else. I have been on the receiving end of these exact feelings before and I have also been on the giving end , either way it is fun at first then just plain painful. You did an excellent job describing the way that feelings sometimes turn. Great job!

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      January 24, 2009
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      Thank you

      I'm glad that you liked it. It seems like sometimes it is when I'm asked to write about something or for someone it seems to motivate me. This is one of three that I wrote on or including the subject of hate. I have experience both sides of this as well. Unfortunately, I've seen this play out more than once. Thank you again for such a wonderful comment and compliment.

  • Livin.4.God
    January 4, 2009

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    I like it.. it's interesting in a good way. Great rhythm and word choice. I really like the metaphore. And how the mood switches, like first love, then like ok, indifference, annoyance, dislike, and then like an angry/sufforcating.

    Hope.

    • Brian Balzer Greeters member
      January 17, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you.

      I'm glad you found it interesting. I'm also glad you liked the word choice and the progression of the mood. This is unfortunately how it happens all to often. I wrote this for someone who was writing an essay about hate. Thanks again.

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