Haley rides a bicycle
down the block
past Miss Parker's house
past the barber's shop
Haley rides a bicycle
down the street
past the street lights
past the yard signs
Haley rides a bicycle
cross the neighborhood
past the swimming pool
past the elementary school
Haley rides a bicycle
cross the city
past the palm trees
past the movie theaters
past mama
past daddy
past the gas station
past the grocery store
past another city
and another
and another
down the interstate
cross all fourty-eight
On sun lit wheels
she rides away
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Amazingly Relatable...
I'm probably getting the wrong meaning from this, so sorry if I am. But aside from that: I really like how this is so See Dick Run, See Jane Run-esque...to me anyways. I think oddly. And I can relate to this so well...it's as if you extracted this from my mind or something. Riding my bike to the end of my road, I've so many times had the notion to turn the corner and not once look back, get away from everyone, and my life. I absolutely loved it! -
this is really simple but it's so well done.
-S
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love the simplicity of this,the arrangement is perfect and its meaning is clear,Haley grows up and leaves home
wonderful poem cee
bye
rhet
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This one has wings
Hey Cee. Your idea here works terrifically well for me and the poem has a lovely light feel to it, a sense of freedom and of coming-of-age.
Personally I'd stop the 'procession' part of the poem at the second 'and another' and just let Haley fly away. I don't think it adds anything to bring her back to earth by applying the brakes (not breaks btw). You might finish with something like 'now Haley flies her bike every day' if you feel you need to wrap it up with a conclusive ending. Great poem. >W<
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Thanks! I totally agree with you, I will change the ending
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