You and her,
the friendship you're
flaunting.
Breaking in,
the challenge is
daunting.
Me, the outsider
we've laughed together
once.
You and your best friend,
always close in a
bunch.
I've heard that
friendship can start with a
thrust.
Maybe, together,
we can build build up some
trust.
Author notes
I don't really rhyme much, this is my attempt...
Comments
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Nice First Ryhme
Its a good first try at a rhyme piece personally I find rhyme scary
its completely different from free verse. The only part that I thought might need look at is:
"Me, the outsider
we've laughed together
once.
You and your best friend,
always together at
lunch. "
But if this part is meant to be free verse than ignore me I look forward to read more your of your poems but friendship can sometimes take time to grow but you will find a friend
Take Care
Distant Unknown
form: 4.
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Thank you so much. Thanks for pointing out the unrhyming part. Please tell me what you think about the changed rhyme.
Thanks
-S
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well done
I know how hard it is being on the outside looking in. Keep the faith you will find a friend. And much happiness will follow. Treat them well.
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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Thank you. This was kindof a dramatization of a situation I have with a friend.
Thanks,
-S
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