A rubber girlfriend understands
Will not fend off affectionate hands
Doesn’t have periods of dejection
No risk therefore of nasty disaffection;
Cannot annoy and never nags
And even if she limply sags
May simply bounce back later,
If an evening in is falling flat
A puff or two will soon inflate her.
Her latex skin when holed or pricked
With a tyre patch is easily fixed
As she cannot talk nor you to her
Any prospect of rows is suspended,
An example in fact, it does occur,
Of least said soonest mended.
A rubber girl has uses oh yes sir
And when you’re done: erase her.
Author notes
Non-PC. As it says a work of complete fiction. The devil made me do it, write this only I mean.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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"i love a manikin should i be panickin i dont know whats happin but i love her" was the only thing goin thru my head when i read this... haha fuckin twiztid... haha i loved it
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Wow, a very interesting poem. I enjoyed it. I especially likes the last line. I look foward to reading more of your work.
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Hi Blue -thanks
Good of you thanks v much. Frank
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i like this. but eewwwwwwwwww kissing rubber?
Thats nasty ..how would you resist going yucky the smell?
LOL LMFAO -
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to CRAZYPEANUT
Plenty of deoderant. No don't go there, way too graphic to dwell on. I can't outwrite it, can I? Could delete it though, tee hee.
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Haha love it. I've been accused of searching for a "perfect girlfriend" in the flesh. Maybe it's time for me to invest in one made of plastic.
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To Swagger
Thanks for feedback Swagger, always good to get. Frank
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hmmm...i hope you don't want a perfect girlfriend, frank
because, man, what a boring relationship you would have...
the great thing about us, imperfect girls or women, is that we make the lives of men exciting...even with the foibles, misunderstandings, tantrums and what nots, i know guys would not want us any other way...
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re. "Perfect Girlfriend" thanks LH.
To: LEIGH HART, I do hope no one would ascribe any personal angle to my spoof poem about the ultimate impersonal girlfriend. I (that's me) deliberately assumed an objective voice in this writing. One should never explain, if it is not discernible to a reader then you have failed, but I had to answer your comment for which many thanks anyway. Frank -
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the first part of my comment was kind of a joke, frank...i know that you were not referring to yourself or to anybody when you wrote the poem...hence, the smile.
as to the 2nd part, i was just trying to answer to the tone of your poem and alluded to the my species imperfections..
i totally got what you meant by your poem...i was just in a light mood that day (for the first time in a long time) that i had to joke. i'm sorry if you think i did not understand you or that i took a personal angle to what you wrote.
peace,
leigh
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outfucking standing
goddam. i wish i came up with this idea for a poem.... honestly i'm surprised i havent. great fucking job. what more can i possibly say.
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re. "Perfect Girlfriend" thanks Ryan.
To: thanks for the words Ryan. The idea for the poem incidentally I ripped off from a stand-up, or I mean I was inspired by the guy's act OR this was a homage to the wonderful humour in his set. It went down great as I recall and the audience appreciated the sexist jokes about his ideal companion. He had the guts to present it subjectively though I assumed a generic voice being a bit of a coward. Cheers Frank.
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