I rose to this morning
and i'll sleep to this night
I'll cry in the dark
and not put up a fight
I'll let memory sustain
the increasing pain
and i'll walk alone wantingly
in the mid morning rain
Yes i'll water this fever
and salt in the wound
Then sit very still
as the radio's tunned
and look to you with dry eyes
which you'll not be surprized
Then i'll sleep to this night
alone in my lies.
..........i wrote it yesterday about this girl...
Comments
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wow..love this it's like so freakn goodgood job!!
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O.O Dude, this shit is freaking amazing! OMG, Shannon! This is great, I'm so jealous of you right now.
There is a great meter and rhythm that creates this pulse as you read it and then I see this saddened girl walking in the rain. You have nice ryhming that doesn't seem forced at all, it really adds to the form in fact! And then just looking at how you have worded it all. You are really starting to embrace your style and I love that!
Nicely done my friend
,
Ash
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AWWE!! hey thanks. i wrote it as it came into my head, that's prob why it doen't seem forced. i've been researching Dorothy Parker latley and studying her style so, it kinda leans that way, i'm just trying a new rhythm. i have more, i should post em, this was like the irst thing i posted in forever anyway
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