Once upon a midnight dreary,
virtual undead attacking the fearing
Me beating them back with weapons on the floor
Suddenly there came a pounding, and my heart beat's resounding
A vicious pounding at my door
"'Tis just a zombie at my door"
"Maybe a group, but nothing more!"
Ah, how foolish the hero brandishing his blade, And to the creature a proverbial bade
"Come hence thou of unholy life!", "Come meet thy fate by bloodied knife!
Alas though the door emerged a fright,
An alpha zombie of a terrible rage, Sent our hero grasping for the trusty 12-Gauge
The unrestful undead let out a roar
With a speed of ungodly might
The decaying horror gnashed and charged
And weapon's ammunition struck it repeating
Foul blood spilling unto the floor
Yet evil creature came for more
hell's fire drove the creature, that through the room barged
The zombie's grip on yonder Hero's neck, Crushing human throat unto a mangled wreck
Opened it's mouth and acrid scent stung human eye
And a mighty chomp unto the shoulder
left human life in a dying smoulder
Quoth the console: "Game Over, Quit or Retry?"
Comments
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A first for me.
I will admit that this is the first time I've read a poem about a video game. I guess it was bound to happen. I thought you actually told the story quite well. I like the rhyme of it since I myself am a natural rhyming poet. I'm curious why you didn't split the longer lines at the natural breaks. You might consider dropping these sections to their own lines:
and my heart beat's resounding
And to the creature a proverbial bade
"Come meet thy fate by bloodied knife!(+")
that through the room barged
Crushing human throat unto a mangled wreck
It's just my opinion but I think it will do two things. I think it would make it a more appealing visually. Presentation is important just like a fine meal at a fancy restaurant. I also think keeping those lines short would make it easier to read. Shorter lines hit harder and sink faster. They also help to keep a faster pace which I think would be good for this poem.
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This reminds me of the dream I had last night. And want to have tonight. With pacman being the zombie.
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