Please wait.
Don’t bleed there on my shirt.
That’s what the towel is for!
Please stop.
Don’t crawl away.
Did I say I was finished?
Please hush.
My neighbors are sleeping.
I think they need their rest.
Please die.
You’re so weak.
Your life I must release.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i really liked this one good job!
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haha
i'm not sure it was meant to be funny, but its funny how you balance the issue of someone dying with the trivial matters of blood on your shirt, neighbors sleeping, etc. liked it alot
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skipeople - This is well done. Has a good build, and the off-handedness of it is creepy. Only problem is with "digress." It doesn't take an object. "I digress." rather than: "I digress you." There are plenty of words that would work and give you more of what you're intending, like "relieve" or "release." I like the subtlety of "My neighbors are sleeping / I think they need their rest." They don't need rest so much as they need to move out of the neighborhood. Cheers, MJ
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huh...
well at first i wasn't sure if i should laugh.. " thats what the towels for!" but then i was like " oh but it's about dying..."
it's a diffrent sorta form. digress, kinda threw me off, but i like that it did. it sorta rhymes with rest and finnished. towels kinda random...lol, but i like it!
i agree with brian, kinda like a serial killa in the way he cares about his shirt and not really that someones dying.
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Wow
This is disturbing but very good. I like the way it progressed. I can't help but wonder where this came from. It's like a glimpse inside the mind of a serial killer.
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