I hear the pizza delivery guy coming.
He’s coming around the bend.
And I haven’t seen my toes since, God knows when.
I’m stuck in Fatso Prison, and time keeps dragging on.
But thin people keep movin’, and I weigh more than San Antoine.
When I was just a baby, my mommy said
“Being fat is hard.
Always eat your veggies and not a brick of lard.”
But I ate a can of Crisco just to make her sigh.
Now when I see thin people jogging, I hang my head and cry.
Oh, I bet there’s thin folks eating
tofu and salad.
And I bet they’re not singing
this retarded ballad.
But I know I had it coming.
I know I can’t be thin.
But thin people don’t have to diet
and I just can’t win.
Well if they freed me from Fatso Prison
If a thin body was mine
I’d bet I’d finally cross the race’s finish line.
Far from Fatso Prison.
That’s where I want to be.
And those sanctimonious thin people
would never again bother me.
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Comments
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hey lady J
this is funny as hell if hell is funny. these parodies only work if you know the song and this was spot on. I was going to say being thin is overrated but how would i know?
dave -
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Thanks foe commenting, Dave! I'm glad it made you laugh. That's all I wanted. Thanks for your positive encouragement. I think I'll try some more bad song parodies!
I'll read some more of your excellent poetry, too.
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comedic poetry, yay
Layj
ha. this is funny. jovial, enjoyable to read. especially to the tune est. at the beginning... i think you stray from the song's meter tho.
...can on crisco, nice
always,
Pap
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Thank you! Sorry for the lateness of this reply. I haven't been on SP in a long time.
I just love doing bad song parodies. Weird Al Yankovich is my idol.
I did stray from the song's meter. No dissrespect to Johnny Cash.
If it made you laugh, then it was all worthwhile.
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hahaa. sweet. great job lol.
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Sorry for the lateness of this reply. Thanks for commenting!
I'm glad it made you laugh. That's all I wanted.
Weird Al Yankovich rules!
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