A women I know
Wanted me to help teach
A poetry workshop
At the local shelter
We met the director
A nice women
And the talk was
If there was going to be
Enough space
With all the people
We’d be getting
We also spoke about
How people on rehab.
Or just out of jail
Needed poetry to reconnect
With the world
But when five o’clock came
Only one guy showed up
And he’s a better poet
Than me and the woman
Co-teaching the workshop
We spent the hour
Critiquing his poem
Which was so good
Our suggestions seemed ludicrous
He suggested to us
We might want to start
The workshop later
Because the people
At the shelter
Were eating dinner
When our first session
Was up
We went to see
The program director
But she said
She couldn’t stay open later
And suggested
If we wanted to attract people
To the workshop
We should bring
Something to eat
My co-teacher jumped
At the suggestion
“we’ll bring some pizza’s”
And I stood there thinking
I thought we were
Going to attract
Creative souls
With a vision
Voices that need
To be heard
But I guess
The only way to get
To a poet’s heart
Is through
Their stomach.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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good works
liked poem..... intresting premiss food for thought.
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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Good, dave.
Poetry is useless shit that does nothing to fill the bellies of the needy. The homeless need pizza more than poetry and probably use "101 Best Poems" to double as both reading and wiping agent in time of need. I felt this was the message you were sending and I couldn't agree more. You don't give a dead man a pair of earphones. Priorities, priorities, priorities. I picked up from this that you felt silly from the experience, no?
I read poetry because it allows me to see into the minds of others, for better or for worse, and to learn a little something. I write poetry because I love words and it is cathartic for me. I do like to be read, and that's more of an egotistical stroke for me that I was able to reach into the mind of another and evoke a response. I sense it's the same for others as well.It is what it is. I would like to read the works of the homeless. I don't think they'd write a lot of pretentious, puffed-up shit and I'm certain it would be sincere.
Entertaining, as usual.
al
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hey al
thanks once again for your in-depth critique. yes i did feel silly from the experience. the people at the shelter could have been better suited having you teach a plumbers apprentice class, and developed a skill that paid enuf money to move out of the shelter.
maybe after that a poetry workshop, as you say writing is cathartic and in sense food for the soul.
i don't know if this came across but i felt these people are getting a free place and meals and health care and even a free writing class and i resented that we had to bribe them with another freebie just to come to our class. it seemed to make us enabler's (to encourage people not to anything unless they get a hand out)
so i feel if they don't want then i'd rather not go there.
dave
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Queue to the left please.....
Hey Professor. I know you believe in savaging your critics but you've used 'women' twice when you meant 'woman'.
Unfortunately I can relate only too well to this scenario and your sense of 'spare dick in a whorehouse' shines through. Where will everybody sit - indeed! Classic Ochsian jaundice. >W< -
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hey john
yeah i better take care of those typo's-laziness. Glad this was jaundiced altough i didnt get what you meant by spare dick in a warehouse.
i think the only that workshop will be good for is writing material.
i only savage my critics because they're wrong.
dave
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pizza and poetry is a good combination. :)
hi, dave. i am very glad that i read your poem first after my rather long hiatus from sharepoetry. this gave me the light humor that i need to get me through some stressful days. as usual, you never fail to amuse, dave...i have always loved that quality about your poems.
and, well, in this world where creativity is put aside for the more practical things...a pizza do sound like a better crowd drawer than just plain poetry...heheheh...hope you are doin' better in the workshop though. it is nice of people like you to spend some time in this kind of thing.
just a couple of questions though...on line 6 - "A nice women"...would you have meant just "woman" here?
and on line thirteen - "How people on rehab."...did you really mean to put a period here? hmmm...hope you don't mind these inane questions
kudos,
leigh
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mubuhay leigh
back to sharepo, we missed you. always nice to hear from you. thanks for pointing out the typos. i used rehab. short for rehabilation, most people in conversation call it rehab. maybe i shouldn't use the period.
dave
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I really enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed the conversational use of language. The simplicity of the poem really brings about a crispness in the irony at the end - an appropriate stage for a such a old notion of finding human connection by way of a basic human need.
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hey split P
thanks for the astute comment, often the ability to be able to read a poem indicates one can write one. hope to see some of your work, and that you enjoy the site.
dave
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I enjoyed the read. The student being also part teacher, each learning from each other. The gentle humor of 'the only way to a poet's heart is through his stomach.' You created a feeling of a pleasant creative environment.
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hey maggie
thanks for the comment, a lot of people don't find my humor gentle so I'll take it.
dave
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Potable Poesy!
First cudos to you Dave for helping with a workshop for struggling folks.
Interesting story told in your penchant minimalist, wry way.
Certainly gives one food for thought. Heheh.
Good luck with the workshop, mate.
gG
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hey gG
thanks for stopping in, we had our second workshop yesterday and i wrote a poem about it too. maybe i'll do one every week, hey even if the workshop sucks i'll get some good material out of it.
dave
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haha i love the way you tell a story and get the reader involved then challenge everything you have been talking about by a profound but true funny statement at the end. Clever! id love it if youd look at mine x
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thanks leanne
i really enjoyed your comment.
dave
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haha good read man. loved the ending. i'd be interested in reading his poetry too. only criticism was that it dragged out in the middle a little. maybe consider condensing it. just my opinion (i'm a minimalist)
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hey ryan
thanks for commenting. gG called me a minimalist in his comment on this but i agree the middle does drag.
dave
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Quite Clever!
I loved the way you omitted much punctuation (periods and such) in this poem until the very end. I enjoyed the tale you told. It ended cleverly. Good job!
Birdie
language: 3, rhythm: 3, subject: 3, tone: 2, form: 4.
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hey dave,i guess a decent pizza is more fulfilling than a decent poem. Writing poetry is an addiction and a jail sentence in itself,crime doesn`t pay,just like poetry..i`d be intrigued to read that guys poetry,you should tell him about this place,if he isn`t already here..
bye
rhet -
I'd have brought the Pepsi
*the only WAY to get
Dave,
this is a less graphic or controversial poem than what I'm used to from you, but no less true. haha, this poem reminds me of that South Park episode, where the boys advertise for a secret meeting via "free hat." But instead people showed up who were protesting the imprisonment of a man named "Hat." Guess you never know what you're gonna get. so don't give up. cuz you might get it right next time. and your heart is in the right place.
always,
Pap
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