My soul is screaming at me
It tells me to seek something
But it never reaches for comprehension
It dwells in ignorance, leaving my body in weakness,
In the darkness, my purgatory
And as much as I want the screaming to stop, it persist
Like a mosh pit of perplexity tormenting my insides
I'm left to wonder, is it worth sacrificing happiness?
To live in the hallow corridors of conformity?
Or should I dare endeavor into the unknown of non existence?
Should I live in false selflessness?
Or die in selfishness?
For it is better to seem as so, then to be so.
Either or, it's all the same.
Why care what happens to us when we die.
I will not be cognizant of any emotion
I just yearn for something to bring me a reprieve
Bring me security
Bring me knowledge
I'm sick, because I long for the past
Always wrapped with nostalgia
I'm sick, because I am terrified of change
Always living off of consistency
I'm often left with empty hands,
For I keep my arms in the past
But after all of the feeling and not feeling
I'm left with nothing inside of me.
I want my passion back
My spirit
My dignity
I refuse to let the only solidified thing in my life be taken from me because of imperfections and confusion.
At the end of the day, all I have left is THIS
All I can humanly possess is THIS
Don't you dare try and take it.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Intense
Wow, intense! I really like the flow and beat, along with your word chioce. It seemed just extreme enough for the topic. I thought it was pretty darn cool!
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"In the darkness, my purgatory"
Such a great allusion as well as image. Purgatory: the place where life neither ends nor begins, it merely is the lob lolly ticking progression of consciousness. You are repenting for your ignorance and denial of truth and self-reliance; a mortal purgatory in which we all reside and exist within.
"Like a mosh pit of perplexity tormenting my insides"
AMAZING FUCKING IMAGE XD
I'm a huge fan of going to shows and concerts, and the swaying tangled chaos of a mosh pit is so vividly appealing. The image appalls and enthralls the reader, pat yourself on the back for that one.
"I'm sick, because I long for the past
Always wrapped with nostalgia"
A very introspective statement you have made here. Nostalgia, to many, is upheld as something to be enjoyed; while you look at the harrowing, darker side of reminiscence.
Two poems in, and I absolutely love your style as well as your thoughts. You have a prosodic hold on poetry that would take many chisels to chip your grip off of.
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Thank you so much for another comment!
I'm glad that you like and can embrace my style, I've gotten a lot of bullshit about it, but I'm glad there is people out there like yourself, who can appreciate it. Thanks again for the comment
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Possession Is 9 10ths Of The Law...
...or so they say, not sure about self-possession tho.
Self-reflection is certainly evident here, Skyview.
I gather THIS is your identity and soul which, as you declare, is not for sale.
While at first your poem appears to be a rather unwieldy if passionate outburst, upon a second glance gleams of succint insight relating to universal quandries come to the fore.
How much must we offer of ourselves and yet retain the essence of who we are.
Self-abnegation can provide certain disciplines with increased fortitude (and a bunch of good karma if applied to the service of others) but I think if such denial is harnassed to a lack of confidence then it can be soul-destroying.
The main monotheistic religions (Islam Christianity Judeism) demand this of their followers and proceed to produce brainwashed hordes of fanatical fundamentalists as a result.
By writing about and expressing your concern here, Skyview, I believe you have fortified your idea of who you are - this type of write is both therapeutic and cathartic. Well done.
And besides if you lost all THIS you d still have that great big hairy arachnid clinging lovingly to your cheek, wouldn t you?
Warmest regards
gG
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Thank you so much for your comment. Your insight is appreciated, really gets me thinking about a lot of things, both relevant and irrelevant to this poem. You are right, I will always have Fluffy
Thank you again for the wonderful comment.
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outstanding
You seem to have great basic self-knowledge kitten,you really understand the workings of your own brain...the unfortunate thing about this knowledge is that it is irreversible so in my opinion living in the "hallow corridors of conformity" or "living in false selfnessness" would be a dangerous mind game for you to play..it could drive you insane..you have a wonderful gift of writing many powerful lines within a single poem,(IMHO)lots of writers base their poems around one great line that took them days to think up but your poems are one great line after another..
"in the darkness,my purgatory"..this one line tells me so much,the darkness here isn`t nighttime but the total self knowledge that your brain lacks but your soul longs for...another brilliant poem that arouses intense emotions within this reader
bye sky
rhet
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This theme seem prevalent in your work recently and is always expressed with so much tension. I like how knotted it feels, though i have a few suggestions i hope you don't mind.
L8- the "?" is not necessary, as it flows to L9, and one punctuation would do.
L13- do you mean "than"?
L17- I think it would be more powerful if you drop the "just." I like using "just" but it is unnecessary half the time. Also, drop "a" before "reprieve" to make it flow better.
L23- changing "of" with "on" would sound better. As the succession of "off" and "of" feels off.
Those are just minor suggestions. I hope it helps.This poem still holds it integrity in its honesty and poignancy. I suppose most of us, at some point struggle to keep who we are in the midst of chaos.
Good read.
-iphios
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