i have
a status
that says
things
aren't fine
maybe you're
hoping
i'll tell
you
maybe it's
too awkward
to ask
but really
i don't care
right now
about you
and your
crush
and your hope
becuase
i know
they're dead
but my struggle
is going on
it's not dead
yet
Comments
-
BURRRRN! To whoever this poem is directed to, they better feel baaad. Very nice. Very "I'm doing better then you, buster!" Very angry. Good emotions. I think you have a good fluent poem, but it needs some more in the beginning. Maybe some more detail.
-
I like it - (like Hawk) I really like the ending. But I like the last 4 lines alot (unlike Hawk) - it's sorta...well I don't know how to say, sort of "It's ME (not you)"in a way...
specifically I like:
maybe you're
hoping
i'll tell
you
maybe it's
too awkward
to ask
but really
i don't care
right now
about you
but I think the thing about the crush is sorta out of place... I don't know...
But I like it.
xx
H -
Hmmm...I really really really like the beginning...the ending seems kind of hanging there...
but my struggle
is going on
it's not dead
yet
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