A mangy old black stray dog
looking distinctive
with a tuft of
white hair under his chin
visited a therapist
who told him
his poor living conditions
were a manifestation
of his low self-esteem.
You’re worth something; your entitled
the therapist told the dog.
You’re right doc, the dog said
nodding his head in agreement
I am somebody.
After the session ended
the old mutt felt ten feet tall
and stopped traffic
by walking out into a busy intersection
to drink some rainwater
in a pavement crack
while angry motorists
futilely honked their horns.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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nicely done
Very creative.The type of poem you want read twice to clarify the meaning of which is so objective -
I really like it like it. It's cute but seems to have another meaning at the same time. I really like the idea, especially how it ends. Nice job.
Himmel -
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hey himmel
thanks so much for commenting.
dave
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Hey dave,
I read this a while ago and ruminated, letting it sink in. Knowing a little about your history(from New York originally) and how you are a fan of Bukowski's cathartic style I envisioned you seeing yourself metaphorically as some dog hunched down over some rain-filled crack in downtown Brooklyn and stopping traffic doing something you perhaps ought not just because your therapist told you you ought to live a little. The lines seem laced with regret almost and this seems to come from the gut, something I always like to see in a write. Your use of metaphor, while usually implied between the lines, seems more center stage in this write and I like it, as it makes it easier on the reader. This was a good write, dave.
al
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hey al
thanks for taking the time to read and ruminate. i agree with what you said, altough i think i had a some inadvertant luck with the poem. its really about how you see yourself, a mangy mutt drinking rainwater, or a pedigree who feels entitled to make people wait.
dave -
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I'm not sure one is preferable to the other, dave. This reminds me of the wisdom that we should never compare ourselves to others as there will always be those beneath and above our station, and either way we will be doomed to vanity or bitterness. So a vain bitch or a bitter mut? Hmmm...I'm gonna go with option C: don't really give a shit so long as I can do my thing without getting hung-up on outside opinion.
This was a great write, dave. You never disappoint with the under-the-surface themery.
al
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A story of courage and the fact that were all worth something
well done I love it 
language: 5, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.
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hey lainy66
thanks for your encourging comment.
dave
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^.^ YAY for stray dogs!!!! Lol, thanks for putting the dog first. You sure did show those those motorists. Lol.
Love it!!!!!
Ash -
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hey Ash
thanks, nice to hear from you.
dave
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ascerbic wit
A delighful parable very well told
language: 4, rhythm: 3, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 3.
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hey G
thanks so much i guess we have something in common. i like mutts and you like those rare English horses. thanks again.
dave
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hahahah! i was honestly expecting you to kill the mangy dog! but, you didn't...so, i guess that just shows that you don't really conform to anyone's expectations of your poems, dave...you always manage to surprise time and time again...
this is a cool poem, i love it! way to go, dawg!
kudos,
leigh
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hey leigh
always great hearing from you leigh and hope everything is ok. maybe someday i'll watch on Eat Bulaga
dave
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there ain't no fleas on me
Dave,
honestly, i was hoping the dog would get run over.
-Pap
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hey pap
he probably did, sooner or later.
dave
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I`m pretty sure it was James Brown who wrote about "I am somebody"..once you realise this you are free to drink rainwater from a pavement crack...you develop beyond the mentality of the futile motorist. I also love how the therapist says "you are worth something, you`re entitled" but the old mutt doesnt interpret this as meaning he is entitled to handouts and benefits, he interprets it as,"I am somebody"..thats how this truly wonderful poem came across to me
Thanks dave
rhet
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hey rhet
exactly and i remember that song by James Brown.
thanks for commenting
dave
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Mutt Metaphor
Hey Dave. This is one the best and funniest pieces I've seen from you, and that's goin' some. You takin' those happy pills again? I actually feel uplifted by it. You should use metaphor like this more often. Brilliant. John
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hey john
thanks a lot. like the dog i think i was a little lucky with this poem inadvertently...but i'll take it.
dave
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